| 00:05 - 00:12 | I wanted to take this opportunity and personally thank you guys for allowing yours truly back into the league |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | I apologize for my tirade a few weeks back. |
| 00:16 - 00:20 | I've prepared this meal as a peace offering to my fellow league members. |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | I promise I'll clean up my act this year. |
| 00:25 - 00:33 | My wife wants to help run my team this year....I've heard her comments during football games and she is completely clueless. |
| 00:34 - 00:35 | Child Please! |
| 00:36 - 00:42 | Sir...You should consider it. Your shitty team needs all the help you can get. |
| 00:42 - 00:48 | My team was plagued by injuries and suspensions last year, so I don't want to hear about it. |
| 00:50 - 00:57 | But this year will be different. I've been watching the NFL Network and reading up on Yahoo! I even bought a few jerseys. |
| 00:57 - 00:59 | You frittatas might as well give up now. |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | Ahh, the draft order is ready. |
| 01:03 - 01:07 | After I get the #1 pick, it's all over for you shit sippers! |
| 01:07 - 01:11 | Lots of good players were kept this year, so this is uber important. |
| 01:11 - 01:12 | I'm keeping Cutler |
| 01:19 - 01:23 | Oh really..I have the last pick. |
| 01:23 - 01:27 | Who the fuck drew the names? This wreaks of collusion... |
| 01:27 - 01:29 | I know you douche bags cheated. |
| 01:31 - 01:35 | It's a little early to start this bullshit isn't it? |
| 01:38 - 01:39 | Cheaters |
| 01:40 - 01:44 | IF I EVER FIND OUT YOU GUYS COLLUDED AGAINST ME.. |
| 01:44 - 01:46 | And I know I will.. |
| 01:47 - 01:51 | I WILL TAKE THAT DAMN SHIVA AND SMASH IT TO PIECES |
| 01:55 - 01:58 | You pussies have stooped to a new low this time |
| 01:59 - 02:01 | "Ohh yea, let's fuck with the draft order.." |
| 02:02 - 02:05 | "...he'll never find out" JAA! JAA! JAA! JAA! JAA!!!! |
| 02:06 - 02:08 | Well let it be known |
| 02:09 - 02:11 | this season will have an asterisk in the record books |
| 02:12 - 02:15 | ALL BECAUSE YOU IDIOTS ARE AFRAID TO LOSE TO ME... |
| 02:16 - 02:18 | THIS IS HORSE SHIT!!! |
| 02:24 - 02:29 | by the way...if you ate the fettuccine alfredo, I strongly suggest you find a bathroom. |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | I'm sorry, but I knew you'd try to fuck me |
| 02:33 - 02:34 | For that stunt, you can't keep Jay Cutler |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | Oh big surprise. I swear, you guys are unbelievable |
| 02:39 - 02:40 | Also, I need your $60 entry fee |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I'M AWARE, YOU DUMB SHIT |
| 02:46 - 02:47 | Nathan...you better sit back down |
| 02:53 - 02:55 | You are going to tell me who's behind all this. |
| 02:56 - 03:02 | Now who the fuck rigged the draft order? I know Tony and Chris damn sure had something to do with it, but I suspect others were involved. |
| 03:03 - 03:07 | Sir, I don't mean to change the subject, but I saw a trailer for The Dodge 3. |
| 03:10 - 03:12 | Thank you, you know how to make me happy... |
| 03:13 - 03:17 | ...now please assure me that Alex Kubsch is not directing it. |
| 03:18 - 03:22 | He was the downfall of the shitty Dodge 2... |
| 03:22 - 03:23 | Sir... |
| 03:23 - 03:27 | The next time you you interupt me, will be the last time. |
| 03:28 - 03:31 | By the way I had sex with your wife last night. |
| 03:32 - 03:37 | Dirty Randy filmed the whole thing over at Kaine's house. And we didn't bother to clean it up. |
| 03:38 - 03:41 | Next time will be Ryan's house... |
| 03:42 - 03:49 | You tell that bullshit commish Chris that I will wipe the slate clean. But when I win his shitty league, I'm taking over the reigns |
| 03:50 - 03:55 | After I take over...imagine all the booze, drugs, and free lap dances I'll get....... |
| 03:55 - 04:00 | How many chicks do you think a fantasy football commissioner gets? |
| 04:01 - 04:09 | Dude, I'm gonna be so deep in the chicks I won't know which way is up...all because I won the league and became commish... |
| 04:09 - 04:14 | I'm gonna have to be shaken awake every day...I'll be so drunk in it. |
