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Hitler: Alexei Dmitriev
Hitler learns that Alexei Dmitriev isn't coming to his film festival

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00:00 - 00:03The schedule for Saturday is locked.
00:04 - 00:05Mick Hannigan's Desert Island Flicks
00:05 - 00:07will play in the 13,500 seat stadium
00:08 - 00:12and the Albanian New Wave retro screens here,
00:12 - 00:15then later we'll unveil the Jennifer Reeder statue.
00:17 - 00:19Followed by Alexei's
00:19 - 00:21spontaneous karaoke party.
00:24 - 00:26My Führer...
00:27 - 00:28Alexei...
00:31 - 00:33Alexei's not coming to the festival.
00:34 - 00:36He's going to IndieLisboa instead.
00:53 - 00:58Would all those who didn't like The Shadow of Her Smile please leave.
01:13 - 01:15This festival is finished!
01:15 - 01:17I can't believe I was so stupid as to believe you idiots!
01:18 - 01:23You said all we needed for a successful festival
01:25 - 01:28was Dmitriev and his fucking karaoke machine.
01:29 - 01:31Why weren’t you doing your jobs securing sponsorship
01:31 - 01:34from a Swiss Bank like bloody Winterthur?!
01:34 - 01:37But no, you said if we show Alexei's new film he’ll come
01:37 - 01:40and we'll have a Robbie Williams singalong like Hamburg!
01:40 - 01:42My Führer, The Shadow of Her Smile is worth showing on its own merits!
01:42 - 01:46Bullshit! He's just parading his personal porn stash!
01:46 - 01:48My Führer, it's a sublime example of beauty transcending context.
01:48 - 01:52It's a sublime example of creatively-bankrupt fuckwittery!
01:53 - 01:54Alexei Dmitriev!
01:56 - 01:57I've been programming shorts for a decade
01:57 - 02:00and I'd never heard of the dude until last year
02:00 - 02:03and yet he's tight with everyone from Adrian Sitaru to J-G Périot!
02:04 - 02:08Where did he come from all of a sudden?
02:08 - 02:13How’s the wee Russian bastard so well connected?
02:14 - 02:16How does someone who likes cat videos and lives with his mother
02:17 - 02:21become so indispensable to the short film circuit?!
02:27 - 02:29Granted, Hermeneutics is pretty good, I'll give him that,
02:30 - 02:34and he's always good for a round of drinks.
02:34 - 02:36But Karaoke?!
02:41 - 02:42C’mon, seriously?!
02:43 - 02:47Tampere has a sauna party for fucksake.
02:48 - 02:53Drunk naked people jumping into a frozen lake!
02:54 - 02:56and you people want dodgy House of Pain covers?
02:56 - 02:59Fifteen Canadians on a dance floor shouting 'Jump around!'
03:00 - 03:02Whitey rap music performed by overgrown schoolboys!
03:04 - 03:08Don't worry, Wouter will still do his Beastie Boys moves for you.
03:14 - 03:17And to think I spent weeks in front of a mirror
03:19 - 03:22practising Common People.
03:25 - 03:27My Jarvis Cocker dance was impeccable.
03:31 - 03:33There's only one thing for it.
03:40 - 03:46I know they're making nature documentaries now
03:46 - 03:49but it's got to be worth a try.
03:53 - 03:56Someone call Hannes and Pekka.