| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Gestapo officer recruits field trip is almost finalised |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Entertainment has been laid on at every stop on the way |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | North, South, East and West Berlin will be visited |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | This is a fine advert for recruitment to the Third Reich |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | It will engender absolute loyalty amongst our officers. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So why is the outing in doubt ? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | There is nothing that can stand in our way. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The call |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We got the call this morning |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Ofsted will be here first thing in the morning. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All those not teaching here at the last inspection, please leave the room.. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | As if I didn't have enough problems on my plate. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I will now be unable to sleep tonight. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Up for a pee every 20 minutes and my irritable bowel totally out of control |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Once again subjected to a totally inconsistent inspection by... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | ..a bunch of failed teachers |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Look how many teachers are deserting me through lack of morale, a total waste of talent... |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ...looking for the ease of a good or outstanding school, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | whilst we struggle on ...demoralised and nowhere to go. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, we too could become Ofsted inspectors... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You may, with your incoherent and inconsistent judgement |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, I moved up from inadequate to satisfactory |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Satisfactory my arse, they moved the goalposts again |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Its a lottery |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They may as well just flip a coin |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | They have set teacher against teacher, school against school |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | whatever happened to satisfactory ? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We always managed that, but it became R I. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Tits and teeth on display from the ladies always swayed that bald headed tool of an inspector. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And for what ? because now we all are expected to embrace Academy status. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Is it any wonder there are so many qualified teachers no longer teaching. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Who but a lunatic would take on an outstanding school? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | There is only one direction of travel from that point |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | ....and don't kid yourself, it is near impossible |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | A 'new kid on the block' inspector |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Eager to make a name for himself before he realises.....and it will be too late..... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | we joined this profession to prepare our future citizens, to inspire and educate |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Our most valuable resources ... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | But what do successive Governments want.....Data, data,data.... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | more data than even a superhuman inspector could examine in a year...let alone a three day inspection.. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, your to clever to have to become an Ofsted inspector |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And all because the politicians want to claim they are better at education. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I'm finished....I have given this profession my best years |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Its time to retire to my bunker with Eva |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It should have just been Good or Not Good |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I wanted to buy a summer retreat,......I have no chance of a mortgage with all this uncertainty.... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We would have been Good, I had dreams and ambition... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'm broken, F@?k-You Ofsted. |
