| 00:00 - 00:03 | This week we have some new tactics. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Marc Murphy is going to run around |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | in circles as a decoy, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | while Yarran kicks some goals. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We hope to lose by less than ten goals. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Who will be the caretaker coach this week, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | now that we have sacked Malthouse? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We haven't... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We haven't sacked Malthouse yet. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We're waiting until the bye. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody leave the room except Trigg, LoGiudice and the water boy. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you fucking kidding me...? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | We were supposed to sack him after he broke the record. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Everybody has the shits with him. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The media has never liked him. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | The players don't listen to him. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I can't fucking stand him! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Somebody stop him from talking on the radio. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | He is the most overpaid person in the AFL. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, he has us over a barrel... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I don't give a shit, get rid of him! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, we can't afford... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Find the money and piss him off! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I've had enough! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | That fat fucker Eddie Maguire |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | is pissing himself laughing at us. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | This is the biggest joke Collingwood has ever played on us. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We need to find some better players! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | For fuck's sake find a forward that can kick straight. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Casboult takes a decent mark, |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | but kicks as straight as Ian Thorpe. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And the midfield... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | they always win the clearances |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | but have nobody to kick to. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Bryce Gibbs... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | What the fuck is going on with his hair? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Somebody give him a fucking haircut! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And Juddy... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Why didn't we let him retire? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | At the end of last year! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, they won't sack Juddy. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Another wooden spoon... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Sportsbet were paying $50 at the start of the season. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I promised my Grandmother... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | that the Mighty Blues... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | would win another premiership before she dies. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Do you know how expensive... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | aged care is...? |
