| 00:00 - 00:03 | Ransom payments are flowing in. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Our affiliates are killing it, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | increasing installs by the day. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We are exceeding our goals and will soon need additional customer service reps. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We have 10 new targets where we are close to domain dominance... |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | But who did we hit this week? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I only care about successful deployments. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Igor, sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We ransomed an American oil pipeline. |
| 00:34 - 00:37 | The pipeline itself is now offline and gas prices are rising. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you do not manage affiliates, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Skids! You are recruiting skids! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Your work is as messy as your apartments! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | For fuck's sake, why would you allow them to deploy in a critical infrastructure environment? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Do you have no shame? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Do you want to be executed or just arrested? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The money does not matter if we are extradited! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | We have de facto cart blanche here and you want to ruin it. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | It's like you want the stupid Americans to hunt us down. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But, Igor, it was going to be 15 bitcoins. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | And how will you spend your bitcoin in American prison, Vasily? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | I did not realize bricking the corporate network.. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't give me this network segmentation bullshit. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | We all know nobody properly segments! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The Purdue Model is only a dream |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | in the minds of idiots. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Of course they will shut down operations out of caution |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | They know not the character of our souls. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They know only of our determination and lack of scruples. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Imagine the absolute drivel I will have to write |
| 02:17 - 02:22 | so that American politicians will think we are not awful people and lobby for our arrest. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It won't work anyway. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | They have seen how little we care if there is money to be made. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | The sword can be pulled from their back |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | but the wound will be filled |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | with draconian policy and articles about cyber pearl harbor. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Even mouth breathing sloths will notice our misdeeds the next time they go to the gas station. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Politicians who don't even know how to open PDF |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | will be clamoring to arrest us. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Hide your fucking gold bars. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, we will moderate the affiliates more closely. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We will release a statement |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | that says some stupid shit like |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | "Our goal is making money, |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | not creating problems for society." |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But this will not suffice. We are under the spotlight and it is more than nerds who care now. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | You are the reason that we can't have nice things. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Just please tell me we have more borscht. |
