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Rocket League Gift Club
The Gift Club talks about strategy for the upcoming season of Rocket League, but learns an unfortunate truth.

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00:00 - 00:03We just received the results for this season-
00:04 - 00:05We built some trust,
00:05 - 00:07and worked on team plays.
00:08 - 00:12New games with Tiago and Pancake
00:12 - 00:15have seen three to four points per game.
00:17 - 00:19What about intangibles?
00:19 - 00:21Have we finally dropped that shit?
00:24 - 00:26MidgetJuggler...
00:27 - 00:28Tiago...
00:31 - 00:33Tiago still calls out intangibles every game.
00:34 - 00:36and has convinced Steve and Matt they exist.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone that can flip reset or has achieved higher than plat two, leave the room.
01:13 - 01:15THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!
01:15 - 01:17HOW MANY GODDAMN TIMES TIAGO?!
01:18 - 01:23You're out of the play every time I look back and I can't even, can't...
01:25 - 01:28It doesn't even make sense,
01:29 - 01:31It's intangible, you can't see it!
01:31 - 01:34I've put up with this shit for two seasons and then some!
01:34 - 01:37Now Steve and Matt are in on it too?!
01:37 - 01:40INTANGIBLES ARE MISSED PLAYS AND YOU KNOW IT!
01:40 - 01:42But Nick, the cucumber accents the water in...
01:42 - 01:46SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH TIAGO! THIS IS ABOUT INTANGIBLES!
01:46 - 01:48In such a way...
01:48 - 01:52I will take my cucumber and shove it down your throat.
01:53 - 01:54There are no intangibles!
01:56 - 01:57We've played hundreds of games...
01:57 - 02:00with every team being "incredible,"
02:00 - 02:03and yet, despite that, you're still garbage!
02:04 - 02:08Every time I look back, this fucker's eight miles away,
02:08 - 02:13AND YET I'M APPARENTLY THE BUTTHOLE LICKING DEER!
02:14 - 02:16My heart can't take it anymore.
02:17 - 02:21And then I need to go to Steve and Matt, who now say the same the same shit!
02:27 - 02:29This is why Pancake and I play twos.
02:30 - 02:34Because when you fuck up that's what it is.
02:34 - 02:36There are no intangibles, lag, or cinema modes.
02:41 - 02:42We're men.
02:43 - 02:47AND MEN DON'T HIDE THEIR DEFLATED SACKS BEHIND INTANGIBLES!
02:48 - 02:53Don't even get me started on the trash talk when an accidental goal goes in!
02:54 - 02:56It's like playing with someone with Tourette's!
02:56 - 02:59Oh, "What a Save," don't mind me, I need six more boost pads.
03:00 - 03:02And then the gall to tell me it was my fault!
03:04 - 03:07It's okay Steve, they're just selfish.
03:14 - 03:16I might as well just retire from rocket league.
03:19 - 03:23At this rate, I'll only live another five years...
03:25 - 03:26No more ranked.
03:31 - 03:33Intangibles killed the game.
03:40 - 03:46If I ever so much as hear the word intangible again, I swear to all that is holy-
03:46 - 03:49I will fly my ass to Chicago...
03:53 - 03:56and just start blastin'