| 00:00 - 00:03 | We just received the results for this season- |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We built some trust, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and worked on team plays. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | New games with Tiago and Pancake |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | have seen three to four points per game. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about intangibles? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Have we finally dropped that shit? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | MidgetJuggler... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Tiago... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Tiago still calls out intangibles every game. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and has convinced Steve and Matt they exist. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone that can flip reset or has achieved higher than plat two, leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HOW MANY GODDAMN TIMES TIAGO?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You're out of the play every time I look back and I can't even, can't... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It doesn't even make sense, |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | It's intangible, you can't see it! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I've put up with this shit for two seasons and then some! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Now Steve and Matt are in on it too?! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | INTANGIBLES ARE MISSED PLAYS AND YOU KNOW IT! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Nick, the cucumber accents the water in... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH TIAGO! THIS IS ABOUT INTANGIBLES! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | In such a way... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I will take my cucumber and shove it down your throat. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | There are no intangibles! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We've played hundreds of games... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | with every team being "incredible," |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and yet, despite that, you're still garbage! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Every time I look back, this fucker's eight miles away, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | AND YET I'M APPARENTLY THE BUTTHOLE LICKING DEER! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | My heart can't take it anymore. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And then I need to go to Steve and Matt, who now say the same the same shit! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | This is why Pancake and I play twos. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Because when you fuck up that's what it is. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | There are no intangibles, lag, or cinema modes. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We're men. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | AND MEN DON'T HIDE THEIR DEFLATED SACKS BEHIND INTANGIBLES! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Don't even get me started on the trash talk when an accidental goal goes in! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | It's like playing with someone with Tourette's! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Oh, "What a Save," don't mind me, I need six more boost pads. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And then the gall to tell me it was my fault! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Steve, they're just selfish. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I might as well just retire from rocket league. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | At this rate, I'll only live another five years... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | No more ranked. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Intangibles killed the game. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If I ever so much as hear the word intangible again, I swear to all that is holy- |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I will fly my ass to Chicago... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and just start blastin' |
