Hitler's Sydney Pub Crawl
Hitler battles with Covid restrictions on his birthday pub crawl. Rant ensues.


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00:00 - 00:03Covid restrictions have been eased in time for your birthday pub crawl
00:04 - 00:05The CBD is still pretty dead
00:05 - 00:07But we could hit up The Rocks, Barangaroo
00:08 - 00:12Maybe Redfern and Surry Hills, or even Marrickville if we’re desperate
00:12 - 00:15And of course there’s always you're old fave, Newtown
00:17 - 00:19Alright, King St pub crawl tomorrow
00:19 - 00:21Elevensies at The Marly
00:24 - 00:26Sir
00:27 - 00:28There's just one...
00:31 - 00:33Sir, patron numbers are restricted and to guarantee entry
00:34 - 00:36We have to make a booking at each venue
00:53 - 00:58Looks like 'Plan B' again FFS. Clean the beer bong and hook up some kegs, right now.
01:13 - 01:15So we’re gonna tear the roof off this [email protected] once more
01:15 - 01:17I’m so sick of the clean-ups
01:18 - 01:23There are glasses of red wine from three weeks ago
01:25 - 01:28Everybody can see them
01:29 - 01:31The girls were using one as a fg ash tray THIS MORNING!
01:31 - 01:34Now there's a goddamn fruit fly colony on the balcony
01:34 - 01:37Since this 'work-from-home' BS, standards around here have plummeted
01:37 - 01:40Coffee cups everywhere, stains in the toilet bowl...
01:40 - 01:42Sir the downstairs bathroom is receiving unprecedented levels of punishment...
01:42 - 01:46You've had your 'home office' fan heater running non-stop for two months, plonker
01:46 - 01:48Sir we can claim the bill on our tax
01:48 - 01:52All I wanted was a birthday pub crawl
01:53 - 01:54I was all amped
01:56 - 01:57To run the gauntlet of power-tripping Newtown bouncers
01:57 - 02:00To peel off for a frosty one at the Carlisle Castle for old time's sake
02:00 - 02:03And make it to The Warren View without spewing
02:04 - 02:08For the love of God, for the sake of the girls' Insta accounts
02:08 - 02:13I was prepared to get selfies of us playing indoor miniature golf
02:14 - 02:16At what used to be a live music venue
02:17 - 02:21I'm still recovering from The Annandale becoming a family-friendly gastro-pub
02:27 - 02:29I just can't walk past The Hopetoun still boarded up
02:30 - 02:34Redfern's only good for small bars charging me $10 a schooner
02:34 - 02:36Marrickville is at the end of the universe
02:41 - 02:42Barangaroo just depresses me
02:43 - 02:47Like we really needed a 200 storey casino for Asian whales
02:48 - 02:53I'm going crazy stuck in this place
02:54 - 02:56F*** it, saddle up
02:56 - 02:59We'll break into The Courthouse beer garden if we have to
03:00 - 03:02I need a solid night out on the p!ss with the boys!
03:04 - 03:07Don’t worry, he won’t assume gender in Newtown
03:14 - 03:16I used to love Sydney nightlife
03:19 - 03:23I could play pool in The Cross and still get a double bourbon and coke at 5:30am
03:25 - 03:26No questions asked
03:31 - 03:33Rolling joints in Dean's Cafe
03:40 - 03:46I was gonna move to Melbourne for some orange mocha fg frapachinos
03:46 - 03:49At least they hadn't killed their nightlife
03:53 - 03:56Looks like they're fd now too