00:00 - 00:03The riots are growing larger.
00:04 - 00:05We're seeing COVID-19 hotspots
00:05 - 00:07here...here...and here.
00:08 - 00:12Your approval rating is in single digits.
00:12 - 00:15And we've spotted the Baby Trump balloon in a few places.
00:17 - 00:19I don't understand this.
00:19 - 00:21Too many words.
00:24 - 00:26President Trump...
00:27 - 00:28we're trying...
00:31 - 00:33...we're trying to get you some KFC.
00:34 - 00:36But they're out of popcorn chicken.
00:53 - 00:58Get me KFC or I call Putin.
01:13 - 01:15This is all FAKE NEWS!
01:15 - 01:17I'm the most popular president EVER!
01:18 - 01:23I'm getting so mad
01:25 - 01:28I'm going to call Obama the N-word in a minute
01:29 - 01:31and grab someone by the pussy!
01:31 - 01:34You're all weak!
01:34 - 01:37You need to crush the riots with the military
01:37 - 01:40while I hide here in my bunker!
01:40 - 01:42You can't just hole up in here...
01:42 - 01:46I'll just call in to Hannity!
01:46 - 01:48Mr. Trump, stop listening to Steven Miller.
01:48 - 01:52When the looting starts...
01:53 - 01:54the shooting starts!
01:56 - 01:57That was so fucking clever
01:57 - 02:00and it rhymed.
02:00 - 02:03Then the fake news attributed it to George Wallace!
02:04 - 02:08I'm getting my ass handed to me by Jim Acosta
02:08 - 02:13Even Twitter is turning against me.
02:14 - 02:16What the fuck did I pay all those bots for?
02:17 - 02:21And Rudy Giuliani keeps butt dialing me at all hours!
02:27 - 02:29I don't want to be President.
02:30 - 02:34Can't I just go back? Go back...
02:34 - 02:36to stealing from cancer charities?
02:41 - 02:42Fuck it.
02:43 - 02:47I'm fleeing to Moscow where I can get a hooker!
02:48 - 02:53Putin will let me do Adderall all day and night
02:54 - 02:56You're all weak losers.
02:56 - 02:59I'm making up mean nicknames for you
03:00 - 03:02And printing them on campaign t-shirts!
03:04 - 03:07It's ok. He'll overdose soon.
03:14 - 03:16I think I just shit my Depends.
03:19 - 03:23And Jared won't even clean me up anymore.
03:25 - 03:26Who will?
03:31 - 03:33Who will change my diaper?
03:40 - 03:46I'm the laughingstock of the entire world
03:46 - 03:49stuck in a bunker.
03:53 - 03:56Covfefe.