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Why it's quiet on the Celtic front
Secret meetings at Parkhead to discuss what's happened in the SPFL

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00:00 - 00:03... and they'll never know what hit them.
00:04 - 00:05We'll build the Freedom Arena here...
00:05 - 00:07and develop the Celtic airport runway here.
00:08 - 00:12It'll hold the party for the SNP indy win with a speech from Nicola
00:12 - 00:15and act as Celtic's new home for their entry in the world football elite.
00:17 - 00:19And we'll have done a world record 20 in a row by then
00:19 - 00:21with the help of Doncaster and the SPFL.
00:24 - 00:26Peter...
00:27 - 00:28The
00:31 - 00:33The clubs have started sending out statements
00:34 - 00:36saying they don't believe in the integrity of the governing body anymore.
00:53 - 00:58Anyone that isn't paid by hollicom or has played golf with Doncaster, leave now.
01:13 - 01:15You had one job!
01:15 - 01:17You had one fucking job!
01:18 - 01:23Keep my greenhands in the pockets of the governing bodies
01:25 - 01:28and make sure they're held down with a foot on the throat
01:29 - 01:31We'll be back in the shadows of our favourite club
01:31 - 01:34I had a veil pulled over this for fucking years
01:34 - 01:37No longer can we claim our players are all £50m stars
01:37 - 01:40or that Lennon is a fucking tactical master in worldwide football
01:40 - 01:42Peter, the world watched him beat Barca 2-1 back in 2012...
01:42 - 01:46That was luck you fucking diddy; we got spanked 7-0 by them last year
01:46 - 01:48Peter, I had my first cry wank at that game...
01:48 - 01:52You'll be cry wanking for years off the back of this fucking shit show....
01:53 - 01:54WE'RE SECOND BEST
01:56 - 01:57I had this country running better than the Nazi regime in Germany
01:57 - 02:00with directors and governing bodies all working the Celtic way
02:00 - 02:03giving us last minute penalties and off-side goals
02:04 - 02:08I had Rangers sent to fucking Division 3
02:08 - 02:13And here they are starting a fucking governing body revolution!
02:14 - 02:16Now I'm watching Linlithgow fucking FC sticking in a knife
02:17 - 02:21Rangers were supposed to be a dead corpse milked for TV sponsor money
02:27 - 02:29And now look at what we're back to..
02:30 - 02:34This was my dream. Our Celtic dream.
02:34 - 02:36And here you diddies were telling me this dossier was pure pish
02:41 - 02:42Fuck right off...
02:43 - 02:47We'll be back in the shadows daydreaming of the Lisbon fucking Lions again
02:48 - 02:53Bringing in managers like Tony Mowbray and John Barnes
02:54 - 02:56Car parks full of the unwashed calling for my head every weekend
02:56 - 02:59Telling us they can't afford tickets because of 'school uniforms'
03:00 - 03:02We'll be back to handing out free tickets for fucking Hamilton at home
03:04 - 03:07It's ok Brenda, we're all still Neil Lennon
03:14 - 03:16We'll have to call in the extra fees from the Van Dijk sale
03:19 - 03:23and sell Eduoard for £80m quickly to Barca or PSG
03:25 - 03:26...the disco lights too.
03:31 - 03:33Back to Greggs as catering partners.
03:40 - 03:46They'll get their ten in a row and the European money now
03:46 - 03:49and we'll end up like Third Larnark when the court cases kick in.
03:53 - 03:56Lin-fucking-lithgow.