00:00 - 00:03Mein Fuhrer, people are becoming bored...
00:04 - 00:05Spending so much time indoors
00:05 - 00:07With their children, their wives
00:08 - 00:12It's becoming too much for them...
00:12 - 00:15And we are receiving reports of disturbing activities
00:17 - 00:19I know... ,
00:19 - 00:21Tell me the worst....
00:24 - 00:26Mein Fuhrer...
00:27 - 00:28Steiner
00:31 - 00:33Steiner never had the spare time
00:34 - 00:36And always wanted to write
00:53 - 00:58Of course. Writing. Obviously. Easy. A doddle
01:13 - 01:15This is what I knew would happen!
01:15 - 01:17He thinks he can write a best seller now?
01:18 - 01:23When there are writers out there who have bust their fucking balls for years?
01:25 - 01:28The arrogance is unbelievable!
01:29 - 01:31And you know the funny thing?
01:31 - 01:34They say they're going to write a novel
01:34 - 01:37And I bet you my right testicle they won't do ten pages!
01:37 - 01:40Then they'll bitch and moan about how difficult it is!
01:40 - 01:42But, sir, everyone is entitled to creative -
01:42 - 01:46Creative! They're never been creative in their fucking lives!
01:46 - 01:48Mein Fuhrer, emerging writers -
01:48 - 01:52Emerging my arse!
01:53 - 01:54It's all bollocks!
01:56 - 01:57They think they're the new PD James
01:57 - 02:00Or JK Rowling or Alan Titchmarsh, but the truth is
02:00 - 02:03they couldn't write a shopping list for their nan!
02:04 - 02:08Or a birthday card for their pet pomeranian!
02:08 - 02:13He was a fucking financial adviser until 5 minutes ago and now the shite he thinks he's Proust!
02:14 - 02:16God give me strength with these tossers!
02:17 - 02:21They think writing is easy they can go fuck themselves!
02:27 - 02:29It drives me nuts.
02:30 - 02:34We professional writers. We have integrity you know
02:34 - 02:36And we get treated like crap
02:41 - 02:42By amateurs
02:43 - 02:47We're surrounded by amateurs and assholes! I'm fed up with it!
02:48 - 02:53I swear, the spelling and the grammar would be terrible
02:54 - 02:56Where were they when I was slaving away
02:56 - 02:59burning the midnight oil in my bedsit
03:00 - 03:02on my detective novel about a house painter?
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, he'll never find your synposis.
03:14 - 03:16It's not fair, I tell you.
03:19 - 03:23I may have been a two finger typist but I put in the hours
03:25 - 03:26till three o'clock...
03:31 - 03:33Sometimes four... in the afternoon.
03:40 - 03:46Were those 44 whodunits for nothing? What am I, chopped liver?
03:46 - 03:49OK, the critics were unkind. But still...
03:53 - 03:56Goodreads...