00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Fuhrer, people are becoming bored... |
00:04 - 00:05 | Spending so much time indoors |
00:05 - 00:07 | With their children, their wives |
00:08 - 00:12 | It's becoming too much for them... |
00:12 - 00:15 | And we are receiving reports of disturbing activities |
00:17 - 00:19 | I know... , |
00:19 - 00:21 | Tell me the worst.... |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner |
00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner never had the spare time |
00:34 - 00:36 | And always wanted to write |
00:53 - 00:58 | Of course. Writing. Obviously. Easy. A doddle |
01:13 - 01:15 | This is what I knew would happen! |
01:15 - 01:17 | He thinks he can write a best seller now? |
01:18 - 01:23 | When there are writers out there who have bust their fucking balls for years? |
01:25 - 01:28 | The arrogance is unbelievable! |
01:29 - 01:31 | And you know the funny thing? |
01:31 - 01:34 | They say they're going to write a novel |
01:34 - 01:37 | And I bet you my right testicle they won't do ten pages! |
01:37 - 01:40 | Then they'll bitch and moan about how difficult it is! |
01:40 - 01:42 | But, sir, everyone is entitled to creative - |
01:42 - 01:46 | Creative! They're never been creative in their fucking lives! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, emerging writers - |
01:48 - 01:52 | Emerging my arse! |
01:53 - 01:54 | It's all bollocks! |
01:56 - 01:57 | They think they're the new PD James |
01:57 - 02:00 | Or JK Rowling or Alan Titchmarsh, but the truth is |
02:00 - 02:03 | they couldn't write a shopping list for their nan! |
02:04 - 02:08 | Or a birthday card for their pet pomeranian! |
02:08 - 02:13 | He was a fucking financial adviser until 5 minutes ago and now the shite he thinks he's Proust! |
02:14 - 02:16 | God give me strength with these tossers! |
02:17 - 02:21 | They think writing is easy they can go fuck themselves! |
02:27 - 02:29 | It drives me nuts. |
02:30 - 02:34 | We professional writers. We have integrity you know |
02:34 - 02:36 | And we get treated like crap |
02:41 - 02:42 | By amateurs |
02:43 - 02:47 | We're surrounded by amateurs and assholes! I'm fed up with it! |
02:48 - 02:53 | I swear, the spelling and the grammar would be terrible |
02:54 - 02:56 | Where were they when I was slaving away |
02:56 - 02:59 | burning the midnight oil in my bedsit |
03:00 - 03:02 | on my detective novel about a house painter? |
03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, he'll never find your synposis. |
03:14 - 03:16 | It's not fair, I tell you. |
03:19 - 03:23 | I may have been a two finger typist but I put in the hours |
03:25 - 03:26 | till three o'clock... |
03:31 - 03:33 | Sometimes four... in the afternoon. |
03:40 - 03:46 | Were those 44 whodunits for nothing? What am I, chopped liver? |
03:46 - 03:49 | OK, the critics were unkind. But still... |
03:53 - 03:56 | Goodreads... |