00:00 - 00:03Mr. Bloomberg, the latest results are in
00:04 - 00:05the gap is narrowing
00:05 - 00:07the online ads are helping
00:08 - 00:12however our internal polling show that the main problem voters have is a lack of familiarity
00:12 - 00:15we need a strong online grassroots presence in order to succeed
00:17 - 00:19Our online presence will be strong
00:19 - 00:21All the top memeologists are on our payroll
00:24 - 00:26Mr. Bloomberg...
00:27 - 00:28the memes...
00:31 - 00:33the memes we purchased have become a joke
00:34 - 00:38they have all become about how much money you are spending on purchasing memes on the internet
00:53 - 00:58Those of you who are only following this campaign for the memes leave the room now
01:13 - 01:15What the absolute fuck
01:15 - 01:17Those idiots were supposed to make memes to help us
01:18 - 01:23who told them to turn me into the laughingstock of the internet?
01:25 - 01:28I wanted something that would humanize me
01:29 - 01:31show people that I'm just like them
01:31 - 01:34Instead I'm paying for 15 year olds to make jokes about me
01:34 - 01:37If this is the kind of talent we have
01:37 - 01:40we might as well give up and register Republican
01:40 - 01:42Mr. Bloomberg, the internet is highly unpredictable.
01:42 - 01:46Trump seems to play it just fine
01:46 - 01:48Mr. Bloomberg. He is abnormally talented at directing the narrative.
01:48 - 01:52He sits on the shitter and tweets to his retarded fanbase
01:53 - 01:54He's a goddamn rodeo clown!
01:56 - 01:57I ran a successful campaign for Mayor
01:57 - 02:00I made NY one of the safest cities in the US
02:00 - 02:03I understand politics, I understand business
02:04 - 02:08There's no reason why we shouldn't be crushing every other idiot in this race
02:08 - 02:13Instead we're getting dunked on by a homosexual named Peter Butts
02:14 - 02:16and a geriatric communist that idolized the Soviet Union
02:17 - 02:21if that idiot had his way we'd be lining up for breadlines and praising Stalin
02:27 - 02:29If only there was some way to make them understand
02:30 - 02:34I'm doing this because I have to
02:34 - 02:36I'm doing this to save our people
02:40 - 02:42it's the party leadership that screwed the pooch
02:43 - 02:47I didn't want to run for this damn job
02:48 - 02:53I'd happily for support any dem if I thought they could win
02:54 - 02:56It's Trump that's the problem
02:56 - 02:59even that commie Bernie would be better than him
03:00 - 03:02but you need more than broke college students in the general
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, Bernie can still win
03:14 - 03:16I had such high hopes for Biden
03:19 - 03:23what a waste, Biden was such a fool
03:25 - 03:26if only we could do it over
03:31 - 03:332020 is lost
03:40 - 03:46but if you think I'm going to let that Orange Menace drag the country through the mud
03:46 - 03:49you've got another thing coming
03:53 - 03:56fetch my AR-15. It's time to go hunting.