| 00:01 - 00:07 | ON BEHALF OF THE DEAR MAYOR DUGGAN WE WELCOME YOU TO NAVARRE NEWS |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | LET'S BEGIN WITH CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS, AS OF NOW THEY MUST ALL BE TAKEN DOWN FROM YOUR YARDS |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | THIS IS NO BULLSHIT...GET THEM DOWN PRONTO OR SUFFER A TERRIBLE FATE |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | NEXT...IN NAVARRE NEWS |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | STOP USING WALMART GARDEN CHECKOUT FOR GROCERIES |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | THAT IS THE MAYOR'S CHECKOUT AND WE MUST NOT MAKE HIM WAIT BEHIND YOU |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | OTHER NEWS...NAVARRE MAYOR WILL BE REIGNING IN THE FUCKING PROFANITY ON EXILED |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...BO BOWDEN |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | LASTLY...TOM THUMB LOTTERY TICKET CASHING HOURS ARE CHANGED |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | HOURS ARE NOW BETWEEN 9:00pm - 9:10pm BY ORDER OF THE MAYOR |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | HE IS TIRED OF WAITING BEHIND YOUR SORRY ASSES |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | THANK YOU COMRADES!!! AND REMEMBER, STOP FUCKING CUSSING ON EXILED. |
