| 00:00 - 00:03 | The 2020 Hawkeye recruiting class is nearly complete |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have searched all over Iowa |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | to find the very best talent |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | with almost some other P5 offers |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We will then attempt to land Ogundele |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about Xavier Foster? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He is still a lock yes? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Xavier... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Xavier Foster is a Cyclone |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | we lost a legacy |
| 00:53 - 01:02 | Stay here if you actually thought Foster was going to be a Hawkeye. The rest of you get the hell out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Why the hell would Foster come here?? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | We don't produce NBA talent! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Our coach is only good for cussing out refs |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and a kick ass Francon alert system |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Even the voice of the hawkeyes |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | gave up on our recruiting |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | King Kong ain't coming through those doors men! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | What the hell were you all thinking? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer we thought... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You thought what? The 10 year plan would convince Foster?? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We told him he'd get playing time |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Of course he would, look at us!! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | We play 27 players a game |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | our only game plan is |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | to aimlessly fall towards the hoop |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and shoot free throws |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | do you think Foster comes here for free throws??? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Even when we tried to get a convicted felon a few years ago |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | he spent more time in jail |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | than in a Hawkeye uniform |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And the atmosphere at Carver |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The funeral I was at least week was more lively |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I'd rather have a god damn root canal |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Than watch this bullshit |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Having to walk up 500 steps just to take a piss |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And when I get to the top I look back our players |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | STILL aren't back on defense |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We can only offer so much free pizza! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I caught a fan knitting the other day!! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, you'll still be able to knit during games |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | The program is dying |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Fran only has so many sons left |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I suppose... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'll just give him another extension |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Should buy the fans off for another 5 years |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We desperately need a tune up |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Luckily we have DePaul next |
