| 00:00 - 00:03 | It was parked on the jetty in Pompey |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | He drove it it up the M27 |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | all the way up the M3 for weekenders |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | then brought it back on Monday morning. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and we reckon he got in a few runs to Morrisons as well. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Alright. How long do you want me |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | to take his FMT600 off him? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...the thing is... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We've already binned him as Skipper |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | New bloke starts tomorrow. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Will the junior service please leave the room for a moment? |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You're having a fucking giraffe!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He's the skipper of the fucking QE! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He can't have a cheeky borrow of the unit car for the weekend?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What about that Wren you're shagging in the office? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Dowdy Doris with the Princess Leia hair buns? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How many "duty trips" have you made to see her? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Or that "family emergency" in Twickenham |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | that came up the day before the Army vs Navy match? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, remember the Naval Service core values... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Don't come that 'C2DRIL' bollocks with me!!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But we can't just turn a blind eye... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Alright, Mouth Almighty, just fucking run the bloke! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Do you really need to fuck his whole career?! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I notice it's a different story |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | When your submariner mates get caught out! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Crash the fucking Astute every other week |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | wreck the odd oil tanker, shag the female YOs |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and the worst that seems to happen is they get kicked upstairs |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | to some fucking cushty Admiral's billet. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | This bloke wasn't even rinsing the GPC card. He paid for all the fuel himself! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Alright, maybe he could have asked around |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Bound to be some career brown-noser itching to get in his good books |
| 02:34 - 02:37 | driving up that way anyway and given a lift |
| 02:40 - 02:43 | Ship's company, Wardroom, Senior Staff |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | They have a fucking WhatsApp group for everything now |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | one of the ship's company could have helped him out |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Probably thought he shouldn't get involved in all that |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | He is the Skipper after all |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Not like he's running off to shag the unit bike behind his Mrs' back! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't listen to him. Your hair buns look lovely. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | You lot wait til you're in civvy jobs |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | because this is honestly fuck all. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Fuck all squared. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Alright. Bin him then. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But now we'll have to invent new DLE courses |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and make them mandatory to get an FMT |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | fucking admin ball-ache... |
