00:00 - 00:03It was parked on the jetty in Pompey
00:04 - 00:05He drove it it up the M27
00:05 - 00:07all the way up the M3 for weekenders
00:08 - 00:12then brought it back on Monday morning.
00:12 - 00:15and we reckon he got in a few runs to Morrisons as well.
00:17 - 00:19Alright. How long do you want me
00:19 - 00:21to take his FMT600 off him?
00:24 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28...the thing is...
00:31 - 00:33We've already binned him as Skipper
00:34 - 00:36New bloke starts tomorrow.
00:53 - 00:58Will the junior service please leave the room for a moment?
01:13 - 01:15You're having a fucking giraffe!!
01:15 - 01:17He's the skipper of the fucking QE!
01:18 - 01:23He can't have a cheeky borrow of the unit car for the weekend?!
01:25 - 01:28What about that Wren you're shagging in the office?
01:29 - 01:31Dowdy Doris with the Princess Leia hair buns?
01:31 - 01:34How many "duty trips" have you made to see her?
01:34 - 01:37Or that "family emergency" in Twickenham
01:37 - 01:40that came up the day before the Army vs Navy match?
01:40 - 01:42Sir, remember the Naval Service core values...
01:42 - 01:46Don't come that 'C2DRIL' bollocks with me!!!
01:46 - 01:48But we can't just turn a blind eye...
01:48 - 01:52Alright, Mouth Almighty, just fucking run the bloke!
01:53 - 01:54Do you really need to fuck his whole career?!
01:56 - 01:57I notice it's a different story
01:57 - 02:00When your submariner mates get caught out!
02:00 - 02:03Crash the fucking Astute every other week
02:04 - 02:08wreck the odd oil tanker, shag the female YOs
02:08 - 02:13and the worst that seems to happen is they get kicked upstairs
02:14 - 02:16to some fucking cushty Admiral's billet.
02:17 - 02:21This bloke wasn't even rinsing the GPC card. He paid for all the fuel himself!
02:27 - 02:29Alright, maybe he could have asked around
02:30 - 02:34Bound to be some career brown-noser itching to get in his good books
02:34 - 02:37driving up that way anyway and given a lift
02:40 - 02:43Ship's company, Wardroom, Senior Staff
02:43 - 02:47They have a fucking WhatsApp group for everything now
02:48 - 02:53one of the ship's company could have helped him out
02:54 - 02:56Probably thought he shouldn't get involved in all that
02:56 - 02:59He is the Skipper after all
03:00 - 03:02Not like he's running off to shag the unit bike behind his Mrs' back!
03:04 - 03:07Don't listen to him. Your hair buns look lovely.
03:14 - 03:16You lot wait til you're in civvy jobs
03:19 - 03:23because this is honestly fuck all.
03:25 - 03:26Fuck all squared.
03:31 - 03:33Alright. Bin him then.
03:40 - 03:46But now we'll have to invent new DLE courses
03:46 - 03:49and make them mandatory to get an FMT
03:53 - 03:56fucking admin ball-ache...