We have our first English paper today from Edexcel
It is worth a total of 80 marks
and it's on An Inspector Calls and Macbeth
Remember to revise every scene with Macbeth and Lady Macbeth in
and go over all the Birlings in An Inspector Calls
Yes I'll revise that
The extract question will be on Macbeth's portrayal
Edexcel decided to make the extract question about the Porter
and how he is presented
If you remembered who the porter was, get out.
That's made me so mad
What in the name of Beezlebub was that!?
I spent two years learning about Macbeth and his rise and fall for absolutely nothing!
What goes through their heads?
They had so many options to choose from
but they go with the irrelevant drunken gatekeeper
who is literally in one scene
and only talks about being drunk!
Mein Fuhrer what about An Inspector Calls?
It was hopeless! I had no idea what to write on that question either.
Mein Fuhrer, the Inspector is easy to write about
I forgot about him because his last name isn't "Birling"
but I answered the question!
I wrote 377
in a bold black marker pen
all across the paper and the table.
Then the pen exploded and the ink went right through my paper
I can't tell you how much I want to go "knock knock" at Edexcel's gates
they're the true representation of evil in Macbeth.
They've made it so I've got no chance of getting better grades than Stalin!
It's an utter disgrace
those freaks have robbed me off straight 9s
they deserve ink poisoning!
I hate them
who the bloody hell decided to choose these awful questions?
I hope they have their insides burnt out and die in great agony
just like Eva Smith!
Those damn fries of treachery!
They deserve to sleep no more!
Don't worry, we can always go and work in Aldi.
I feel like Eva Smith
after Sheila got her fired from that shop.
there's never any hope
not when the paper is written by a farmyard animal.
I hope Edexcel head office burns down
that'd be nice.