| 00:00 - 00:03 | It is worse than we thought... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Not a single image of you in the film. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Despite your popping up like a gopher all throughout Spain and France |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | not one frame of you appears in "WAYFARING" |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Herriott omitted you here and here as well, Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | He cannot get away with this... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we will track him down... |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | He... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | He has said horrible things... |
| 00:34 - 00:37 | He said you look bad in shorts, and that... you are not funny. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who likes Squatch more than me can get out now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | He is not funnier than me! He is not! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I made jokes and documentaries before he was even born! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I inVENTED hiking! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I invented hiking and jokes and documentaries! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Chicks dig ME more and I am taller than him! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I will hunt down every Kickstarter contributor of his |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | and personally kick their asses! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | This will not stand! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, he has other films that illustrate his talents, it's too late, his brilliance is already out there... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | My reputation and my height is ruined! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But sir, you have to let this one go, it's out of your hands. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Out of my hands!? Your ass is mine!! His ass is mine! All your asses are mine! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's all over. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | It's just like the Flip Flop Flippin scandal all over again. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | He left me behind like a bad stink |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and charmed his way across Europe with his tallness and his funniness |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Am I invisible over here? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I drycleaned my lederhosen for this? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | He promised me a cameo on the Camino! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | This will not stand! I did not clean my lederhosen for this! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Someone explain why the world hates me |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Just once I want to be admired like Squatch and make a film girls will like. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | A masterpiece that people will remember |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | He will pay. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | What's left now? Wait for the next film he can leave me out of? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | If only Goebbels had shot it in HD the way I instructed him to. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | They would have seen how good my ass looks in shorts. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | The likes of Herriott would rue the day my ass appeared in shorts. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I have more talent in my left ass cheek than any hiking comedian and all the girls know it! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Shhh, don't worry, he has no idea of your devotion to Squatch. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe he will give me another chance.... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | How can I ask him... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I have to try... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It can't go any worse. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Sorry for screaming, Ernst. I just wanted to show the world my virility in shorts and my hiking humor so badly. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ..too much to ask for i guess. Squatch wins. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | God help us all. |
