| 00:00 - 00:03 | We received the reports from Warrant Officer Horrigan this morning, Sir. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | It doesn't look good from what we established |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | From what we can tell, he doesn't enjoy his wife's cooking. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | It seems things are not working out in the kitchen. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What has she done, exactly? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I want all the details. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | she... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | attempted a mock mashed potato from cauliflower last night |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | She saw the recipe on Pinterest and thought to try it. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone here who has a Pinterest account, get the hell out now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell is she thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | This "eating healthy" horse crap lifestyle! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Does she not think of her husband's feelings? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Substituting REAL food with rabbit shit! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | It's fucked up! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | This is a woman claiming to be from Italian heritage! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | She can't make a fucking lasagna once in a while? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | As her husband pleads with hunger, she continues her search for "fat-free" desserts! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, perhaps she is sincere... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Sincere in her attempts to starve him to death! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, she is also over-seasoning the meat. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Exactly, because she is a shit cook! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | This is what happens with these New England women! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They think it's "too cold" to drive to the store, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | so they "work with what they've got" in the home! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | When they don't have SHIT! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And Pinterest? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | A website that shows you how to turn an old suitcase into a planter? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | JUST BUY A FUCKING PLANTING POT!!! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | No one cares about how to make a bookshelf from baskets! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | IKEA sells them for thirty friggin dollars. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | These recipes are what sick women post |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | to destroy the husband's moral. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Breaks them down... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | until they finally buy them those shoes they wanted on sale at Macy's! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Coming home thinking you are going to have a nice dinner. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Only to find your wife working on DIY projects... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and mashed cauliflower on your plate! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | The whole thing is bullshit! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, we'll deactivate our Pinterest accounts, Sally. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We have no other choice but to take away her Candy Crush. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Then she may see the seriousness of the situation. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | She'll see. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | And Michael will be at ease. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | His appetite will return and he will know the taste of stuffed shells again. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Jessica can keep her Pinterest, but under one condition... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | No more fucking cauliflower. |
