00:00 - 00:03We received the reports from Warrant Officer Horrigan this morning, Sir.
00:04 - 00:05It doesn't look good from what we established
00:05 - 00:07here and here.
00:08 - 00:12From what we can tell, he doesn't enjoy his wife's cooking.
00:12 - 00:15It seems things are not working out in the kitchen.
00:17 - 00:19What has she done, exactly?
00:19 - 00:21I want all the details.
00:24 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28she...
00:31 - 00:33attempted a mock mashed potato from cauliflower last night
00:34 - 00:36She saw the recipe on Pinterest and thought to try it.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone here who has a Pinterest account, get the hell out now.
01:13 - 01:15What the hell is she thinking?
01:15 - 01:17This "eating healthy" horse crap lifestyle!
01:18 - 01:23Does she not think of her husband's feelings?
01:25 - 01:28Substituting REAL food with rabbit shit!
01:29 - 01:31It's fucked up!
01:31 - 01:34This is a woman claiming to be from Italian heritage!
01:34 - 01:37She can't make a fucking lasagna once in a while?
01:37 - 01:40As her husband pleads with hunger, she continues her search for "fat-free" desserts!
01:40 - 01:42Sir, perhaps she is sincere...
01:42 - 01:46Sincere in her attempts to starve him to death!
01:46 - 01:48Sir, she is also over-seasoning the meat.
01:48 - 01:52Exactly, because she is a shit cook!
01:53 - 01:54This is what happens with these New England women!
01:56 - 01:57They think it's "too cold" to drive to the store,
01:57 - 02:00so they "work with what they've got" in the home!
02:00 - 02:03When they don't have SHIT!
02:04 - 02:08And Pinterest?
02:08 - 02:13A website that shows you how to turn an old suitcase into a planter?
02:14 - 02:16JUST BUY A FUCKING PLANTING POT!!!
02:17 - 02:21No one cares about how to make a bookshelf from baskets!
02:27 - 02:29 IKEA sells them for thirty friggin dollars.
02:30 - 02:34These recipes are what sick women post
02:34 - 02:36to destroy the husband's moral.
02:41 - 02:42Breaks them down...
02:43 - 02:47until they finally buy them those shoes they wanted on sale at Macy's!
02:48 - 02:53Coming home thinking you are going to have a nice dinner.
02:54 - 02:56Only to find your wife working on DIY projects...
02:56 - 02:59and mashed cauliflower on your plate!
03:00 - 03:02The whole thing is bullshit!
03:04 - 03:07It's ok, we'll deactivate our Pinterest accounts, Sally.
03:14 - 03:16We have no other choice but to take away her Candy Crush.
03:19 - 03:23Then she may see the seriousness of the situation.
03:25 - 03:26She'll see.
03:31 - 03:33And Michael will be at ease.
03:40 - 03:46His appetite will return and he will know the taste of stuffed shells again.
03:46 - 03:49Jessica can keep her Pinterest, but under one condition...
03:53 - 03:56No more fucking cauliflower.