| 00:00 - 00:02 | We are HUGE Michigan fans! |
| 00:02 - 00:04 | We enjoy pain. |
| 00:05 - 00:06 | Do you know of Michigan? |
| 00:07 - 00:08 | The team that fails? |
| 00:08 - 00:11 | Yes - you know them! |
| 00:12 - 00:13 | Winning is not our thing. |
| 00:13 - 00:16 | We do relish the games before Eisenhower! |
| 00:16 - 00:18 | Isn't that really quite pathetic? |
| 00:18 - 00:21 | Yes, but it is the Michigan Way! |
| 00:21 - 00:25 | We certainly cannot discuss the current team... |
| 00:25 - 00:27 | We have not won a meaninful game |
| 00:28 - 00:29 | Since before the advent of VHS! |
| 00:30 - 00:33 | VHS was a decent medium, but still. |
| 00:34 - 00:37 | I was wearing a diaper last time they beat OSU |
| 00:37 - 00:38 | Why do you remain a fan? |
| 00:39 - 00:41 | What? |
| 00:41 - 00:44 | Why be a fan of such a pitiful team? |
| 00:44 - 00:46 | Dance strangely - as if you are Harbaugh! |
