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Hitler reacts to the GTI uplift plan
We've received Joshua's uplift plan. We're going to split the repper logs as they arrive, here here, and here. He also thinks we have too many different databases. He wants to consolidate on just two or three. That seems like a reasonable plan.

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00:00 - 00:03We've received Joshua's uplift plan.
00:04 - 00:05We're going to split the repper logs as they arrive, here
00:05 - 00:07here, and here.
00:08 - 00:12He also thinks we have too many different databases.
00:12 - 00:15He wants to consolidate on just two or three.
00:17 - 00:19That seems like a reasonable plan.
00:19 - 00:21Which ones does he want?
00:24 - 00:26SampleDB is one...
00:27 - 00:28Maybe MySQL...
00:31 - 00:33And HBase.
00:34 - 00:36To replace Sybase IQ.
00:53 - 00:58If you think this is a good idea, get out. You're fired.
01:13 - 01:15He wants to replace Sybase IQ with HBase!
01:15 - 01:17HBase, which crashes at least twice a week!
01:18 - 01:23Replacing IQ, which has been reliable for years, even though it's completely unmaintained!
01:25 - 01:28Did we somehow not explain it well enough?
01:29 - 01:31HBase is completely unusable!
01:31 - 01:34If a mouse farts, the whole thing goes down!
01:34 - 01:37And he thinks this is a suitable replacement for Sybase?
01:37 - 01:37It can't even do OLAP on paper!
01:40 - 01:42He thinks that with an OLAP plug-in --
01:42 - 01:46Does this plug-in make HBase actually function?
01:46 - 01:48Well, it's still alpha, but --
01:48 - 01:52Alpha! You want to add an alpha product into the mix!
01:53 - 01:54You want to take the shitpile that is HBase...
01:56 - 01:57...and then add in an unstable, alpha-level plugin...
01:57 - 02:00...because HBase by itself isn't unstable enough!
02:00 - 02:03This is a brilliant fucking plan from start to finish!
02:04 - 02:08We take the one part of our architecture that doesn't require constant hand-holding.
02:08 - 02:13The one part that takes whatever we throw at it.
02:14 - 02:16And then we wad it all up and throw it in the fucking trash!
02:17 - 02:21I can't even comprehend the level of stupidity that would think this is a good fucking idea!
02:27 - 02:29Do you even understand how terrible HBase is?
02:30 - 02:34At least twice a week I have to run an hbck because the whole thing is down again.
02:34 - 02:36This is to be our core database!
02:41 - 02:42We're supposed to build all of GTI on top of this!
02:43 - 02:47We're going to use HBase as the fucking bedrock upon which the entire system is built!
02:48 - 02:53You're supposed to use something that's stable as your core technology!
02:54 - 02:56Something that actually works!
02:56 - 02:59But instead we're using the most immature...
03:00 - 03:02...piece of shit ass-ware in the entire world.
03:04 - 03:07It's okay. At least we're not using MongoDB.
03:14 - 03:16It just doesn't make any sense to me. None at all.
03:19 - 03:23I don't understand why we'd use something that we already know is utter shit.
03:25 - 03:26You'd think we'd at least use something different.
03:31 - 03:33Probably everything else is just as bad.
03:40 - 03:46But at least we'd be able to have a little optimism then. A little hope that things might not go as badly.
03:46 - 03:49The best we can hope for now is that the entire project falls apart.
03:53 - 03:56Then at least we'll fail right away, instead of gradually over the course of a year.