00:00 - 00:03We've received Joshua's uplift plan.
00:04 - 00:05We're going to split the repper logs as they arrive, here
00:05 - 00:07here, and here.
00:08 - 00:12He also thinks we have too many different databases.
00:12 - 00:15He wants to consolidate on just two or three.
00:17 - 00:19That seems like a reasonable plan.
00:19 - 00:21Which ones does he want?
00:24 - 00:26SampleDB is one...
00:27 - 00:28Maybe MySQL...
00:31 - 00:33And HBase.
00:34 - 00:36To replace Sybase IQ.
00:53 - 00:58If you think this is a good idea, get out. You're fired.
01:13 - 01:15He wants to replace Sybase IQ with HBase!
01:15 - 01:17HBase, which crashes at least twice a week!
01:18 - 01:23Replacing IQ, which has been reliable for years, even though it's completely unmaintained!
01:25 - 01:28Did we somehow not explain it well enough?
01:29 - 01:31HBase is completely unusable!
01:31 - 01:34If a mouse farts, the whole thing goes down!
01:34 - 01:37And he thinks this is a suitable replacement for Sybase?
01:37 - 01:37It can't even do OLAP on paper!
01:40 - 01:42He thinks that with an OLAP plug-in --
01:42 - 01:46Does this plug-in make HBase actually function?
01:46 - 01:48Well, it's still alpha, but --
01:48 - 01:52Alpha! You want to add an alpha product into the mix!
01:53 - 01:54You want to take the shitpile that is HBase...
01:56 - 01:57...and then add in an unstable, alpha-level plugin...
01:57 - 02:00...because HBase by itself isn't unstable enough!
02:00 - 02:03This is a brilliant fucking plan from start to finish!
02:04 - 02:08We take the one part of our architecture that doesn't require constant hand-holding.
02:08 - 02:13The one part that takes whatever we throw at it.
02:14 - 02:16And then we wad it all up and throw it in the fucking trash!
02:17 - 02:21I can't even comprehend the level of stupidity that would think this is a good fucking idea!
02:27 - 02:29Do you even understand how terrible HBase is?
02:30 - 02:34At least twice a week I have to run an hbck because the whole thing is down again.
02:34 - 02:36This is to be our core database!
02:41 - 02:42We're supposed to build all of GTI on top of this!
02:43 - 02:47We're going to use HBase as the fucking bedrock upon which the entire system is built!
02:48 - 02:53You're supposed to use something that's stable as your core technology!
02:54 - 02:56Something that actually works!
02:56 - 02:59But instead we're using the most immature...
03:00 - 03:02...piece of shit ass-ware in the entire world.
03:04 - 03:07It's okay. At least we're not using MongoDB.
03:14 - 03:16It just doesn't make any sense to me. None at all.
03:19 - 03:23I don't understand why we'd use something that we already know is utter shit.
03:25 - 03:26You'd think we'd at least use something different.
03:31 - 03:33Probably everything else is just as bad.
03:40 - 03:46But at least we'd be able to have a little optimism then. A little hope that things might not go as badly.
03:46 - 03:49The best we can hope for now is that the entire project falls apart.
03:53 - 03:56Then at least we'll fail right away, instead of gradually over the course of a year.