00:00 - 00:03We have implemented some new cost control measures. Importantly, BDM reimbursement for
00:03 - 00:04lap dances will
00:04 - 00:05 need authorisation here
00:05 - 00:07here, and here before it is approved.
00:08 - 00:12We have cancelled Beccy's passport so she can no longer make another travel insurance claim and
00:12 - 00:15if Carl leaves another iPhone on the roof of his car we will replace it with Bradley's old Nokia N63
00:17 - 00:19Excellent. The trend is our friend.
00:19 - 00:21Its going to be a great year for our Cost to Income ratios
00:24 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28It's IT
00:31 - 00:33They have ordered another 15 Flux Capacitors
00:34 - 00:36Holden thinks he can get Flex up to Warp Factor 11
00:53 - 00:58Anyone who has made an expense claim for a lap dance in the past six months get out now.
01:13 - 01:15What the hell are they thinking?
01:15 - 01:17How much money do they need?
01:18 - 01:23Cant this stuff be run on a Commodore 64? Oracle are taking the piss again surely?
01:25 - 01:28Whilst I'm at it, whats with the Port Adelaide colours on our business cards?
01:29 - 01:31Do we want to be associated with a bunch of ferals?
01:31 - 01:34Perth staff staying in hotel accommodation in Perth
01:34 - 01:37Is Qantas seat 1A on the plane that important
01:37 - 01:40Whats wrong with Virgin 1A? They give you a comfort pack with some lovely hand cream
01:40 - 01:42Its imperative we get Kevin Seat 1A
01:42 - 01:46Is this really a reason why we all can't fly Virgin?
01:46 - 01:48Sir, Kevin is a Golden Morgie winner and its important he gets the recognition
01:48 - 01:52You even get free ball point pens which are better than this Qantas crap!'
01:53 - 01:54Just think how we can could lower
01:56 - 01:57our stationary costs if we used the Virgin pens
01:57 - 02:00I just wish they also gave you LMI and Worldwide printing vouchers as well
02:00 - 02:03But no ...we then we spend tens of millions of dollars on a new office
02:04 - 02:08with its fancy chairs and lights which go out in the toilet when you have half finished the job
02:08 - 02:13and curried fish smells that waft up the stair well. They know i don't like seafood. They have done it on purpose
02:14 - 02:16i just want wanted a new white board for my office
02:17 - 02:21but i have to get one which is designed by some bloke wearing lady pants and has a pigtaili
02:27 - 02:29I remember the days when people would respect the CFO
02:30 - 02:34Value his input, not laugh at their pigeon chest
02:34 - 02:36We need another GFC, when the CFO took control
02:41 - 02:42when he rose from the ashes
02:43 - 02:47and slaughtered the fiscal dragons without fear of his own safety for the good of his work colleagues and shareholders
02:48 - 02:53Yes those were the days. When a man had purpose. not a play thing of Sales there to help bail
02:54 - 02:56brokers out cos they forgot to pay their tax bill
02:56 - 02:59And what about the new logo? Who are we kidding?
03:00 - 03:02I can't even tell the difference
03:04 - 03:07It's okay Saffron, I love the new logo
03:14 - 03:16The members will still complain
03:19 - 03:23Our costs will continue to go up
03:25 - 03:26Our margins will get tighter
03:31 - 03:33We need more volume
03:40 - 03:46We need to write more AFG Home Loans
03:46 - 03:49Let Jeremy have his lap dances. He works for Al...he deserves them
03:53 - 03:56Maybe he will get me one with Kylie