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A Day in the Life of a CFO
We have implemented some new cost control measures. Importantly, BDM reimbursement for lap dances will need authorisation here here, and here before it is approved. We have cancelled Beccy's passport so she can no longer make another travel insurance claim and if Carl leaves another iPhone on the roof of his car we will replace it with Bradley's old Nokia N63

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00:00 - 00:03We have implemented some new cost control measures. Importantly, BDM reimbursement for
00:03 - 00:04lap dances will
00:04 - 00:05 need authorisation here
00:05 - 00:07here, and here before it is approved.
00:08 - 00:12We have cancelled Beccy's passport so she can no longer make another travel insurance claim and
00:12 - 00:15if Carl leaves another iPhone on the roof of his car we will replace it with Bradley's old Nokia N63
00:17 - 00:19Excellent. The trend is our friend.
00:19 - 00:21Its going to be a great year for our Cost to Income ratios
00:24 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28It's IT
00:31 - 00:33They have ordered another 15 Flux Capacitors
00:34 - 00:36Holden thinks he can get Flex up to Warp Factor 11
00:53 - 00:58Anyone who has made an expense claim for a lap dance in the past six months get out now.
01:13 - 01:15What the hell are they thinking?
01:15 - 01:17How much money do they need?
01:18 - 01:23Cant this stuff be run on a Commodore 64? Oracle are taking the piss again surely?
01:25 - 01:28Whilst I'm at it, whats with the Port Adelaide colours on our business cards?
01:29 - 01:31Do we want to be associated with a bunch of ferals?
01:31 - 01:34Perth staff staying in hotel accommodation in Perth
01:34 - 01:37Is Qantas seat 1A on the plane that important
01:37 - 01:40Whats wrong with Virgin 1A? They give you a comfort pack with some lovely hand cream
01:40 - 01:42Its imperative we get Kevin Seat 1A
01:42 - 01:46Is this really a reason why we all can't fly Virgin?
01:46 - 01:48Sir, Kevin is a Golden Morgie winner and its important he gets the recognition
01:48 - 01:52You even get free ball point pens which are better than this Qantas crap!'
01:53 - 01:54Just think how we can could lower
01:56 - 01:57our stationary costs if we used the Virgin pens
01:57 - 02:00I just wish they also gave you LMI and Worldwide printing vouchers as well
02:00 - 02:03But no ...we then we spend tens of millions of dollars on a new office
02:04 - 02:08with its fancy chairs and lights which go out in the toilet when you have half finished the job
02:08 - 02:13and curried fish smells that waft up the stair well. They know i don't like seafood. They have done it on purpose
02:14 - 02:16i just want wanted a new white board for my office
02:17 - 02:21but i have to get one which is designed by some bloke wearing lady pants and has a pigtaili
02:27 - 02:29I remember the days when people would respect the CFO
02:30 - 02:34Value his input, not laugh at their pigeon chest
02:34 - 02:36We need another GFC, when the CFO took control
02:41 - 02:42when he rose from the ashes
02:43 - 02:47and slaughtered the fiscal dragons without fear of his own safety for the good of his work colleagues and shareholders
02:48 - 02:53Yes those were the days. When a man had purpose. not a play thing of Sales there to help bail
02:54 - 02:56brokers out cos they forgot to pay their tax bill
02:56 - 02:59And what about the new logo? Who are we kidding?
03:00 - 03:02I can't even tell the difference
03:04 - 03:07It's okay Saffron, I love the new logo
03:14 - 03:16The members will still complain
03:19 - 03:23Our costs will continue to go up
03:25 - 03:26Our margins will get tighter
03:31 - 03:33We need more volume
03:40 - 03:46We need to write more AFG Home Loans
03:46 - 03:49Let Jeremy have his lap dances. He works for Al...he deserves them
03:53 - 03:56Maybe he will get me one with Kylie