| 00:00 - 00:03 | The production system is almost ready. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The app will be pushed out shortly. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We have a galera cluster here, here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | With NGINX load balancing. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And our monitoring system is already in place. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And you have used Puppet |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | to deploy everything. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well umm we figured... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | With Puppet |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | It would be best to... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Write the puppet code afterwords... |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Plebian software engineers and sys admin leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is an outrage! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Is this 2003? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How are we to manage this shit! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | If we have no central config management |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | we are fucked! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Those asshats at Google and Apple are managing everything with Puppet |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | We might as well blow everything away and start over. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | How do we know which end is up anymore?! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Liege at least our storage nodes are managed |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck the storage nodes! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We have recently made headway with the webserver. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You think that is worth a shit!? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | We must puppetize everything! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You must like ssh'ing into everything. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and using vim to edit config files by hand. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | How do you even know who fucked up a config change?! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Without source control who do you blame! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We have been plagued by live config changes |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Bringing production down! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We might as well use GoDaddy shared web hosting! |
| 02:30 - 02:36 | And pray our shit stays running. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Stalin was right. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Without config management |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | we are fucked |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | All my time writing puppet manifests |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and you just do shit by hand |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | via SSH! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | it's okay he's just hangry |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I thought this was a no brainer. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | infrastructure as code |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Some orchestration. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maybe some Docker. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Using Heat and OpenStack |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Some API's |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And poof |
