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Hitler Finds Out About the Dragon Awards
838 views • 4/9/2016
The Social Justice Generals inform their Great Leader about the formation of the Dragon Awards.
00:00 - 00:03
We are continuing our campaign against the Puppies.
00:04 - 00:05
They've succeeded at using facts,
00:05 - 00:07
but we believe our feels can still trump their logic.
00:08 - 00:12
Even better, Vox has turned his followers against the Sad Puppies,
00:12 - 00:15
and that lets us pretend he's the one in charge, and not the many Puppy women and minorities.
00:17 - 00:19
Good. We'll No Award while they self-destruct.
00:19 - 00:21
The Hugo Awards will remain preeminent.
00:24 - 00:26
Great Leader . . .
00:27 - 00:28
DragonCon . . .
00:31 - 00:33
DragonCon has just announced their own major award.
00:34 - 00:36
And it already looks cool.
00:53 - 00:58
Everyone . . . out. Except Scalzi, Gerrold, and the Social Media Brigade.
01:13 - 01:15
Do you understand what's at stake!?
01:15 - 01:17
We've spent YEARS gaining control of the Hugos!
01:18 - 01:23
We need them to control public perception of quality in science fiction and fantasy!
01:25 - 01:28
We can't just let mere READERS decide what makes good genre fiction,
01:29 - 01:31
not when SF&F lets people dream of freedom from drudgery
01:31 - 01:34
and imagine alternate worlds where we don't control their every word and action!
01:34 - 01:37
And it was going fine until you idiots goaded Larry Correia
01:37 - 01:40
into starting Sad Puppies in the first place and drawing public attention --
01:40 - 01:42
Great Leader, we had no idea that a bestselling author could draw attention to our plans!
01:42 - 01:46
You idiot! Bestselling authors have huge fanbases!
01:46 - 01:48
Great Leader, you taught us that popularity and quality are mutually incompat--
01:48 - 01:52
You are so idiotic that you've begun to believe our own propaganda!
01:53 - 01:54
That's precisely why they're so dangerous.
01:56 - 01:57
We had to convince them that real art was ugly.
01:57 - 02:00
That if they don't get it, the problem is with them, not us.
02:00 - 02:03
Force them to believe that we are the sole arbiters of taste, understanding, and quality.
02:04 - 02:08
But if we can't pretend that the Hugos are the biggest award in SF&F,
02:08 - 02:13
if DragonCon can leverage its hordes to vote on whether a book or movie or TV show is good or not,
02:14 - 02:16
then the Hugo Awards will lose prestige in the field,
02:17 - 02:21
and eventually we'll look just like what we already are: elitists who don't actually care about fiction!
02:27 - 02:29
We'll have to start over.
02:30 - 02:34
We've spent so long disdaining DragonCon that we don't have people in control.
02:34 - 02:36
Not since Ed Kramer got convicted of pedophilia.
02:41 - 02:42
Start a new campaign.
02:43 - 02:47
DragonCon is controlled by . . . by racists and misogynists and . . . and GamerGate!
02:48 - 02:53
We have to discredit the Dragon Awards before they even have nominations,
02:54 - 02:56
or else people will wonder why DragonCon is so much larger than Worldcon.
02:56 - 02:59
Why we can't get more than a few thousand to show up, and they have SIXTY thousand without even trying,
03:00 - 03:02
who flock to a convention thinking that it's supposed to be FUN!
03:04 - 03:07
Don't worry. Fun will never trump social justice.
03:14 - 03:16
If we can't discredit them, it's over.
03:19 - 03:23
There's no way an Ancillary Noun novel will win at DragonCon.
03:25 - 03:26
We'll fade into obscurity.
03:31 - 03:33
All because Scalzi over there decided to get in Correia's face.
03:40 - 03:46
It would take years to infect DragonCon. They're masters of having fun wrong, and won't have a serious discussion
03:46 - 03:49
about why skin color and sexuality always trump creativity.
03:53 - 03:56
At least we still have Twitter.
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