| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Christmas Parade will start at the mall. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The majority of spectators will stand over here, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | others by the Terry Fox statue. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The committee tells me that you don't want the usual red and black decor on your float, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | that you have a new theme in mind, with a pyrotechnic finale planned over here. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, I want to use a rainbow coloured theme and fireworks this year, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | to appeal to the younger kids. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The rainbow... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Especially the rainbow flag, |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | is a symbol of gay pride around the world. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who was going to wear purple assless chaps on the float, get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Since when are rainbows synonymous with 'same love'? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Aren't rainbows meant for little girls and boys, |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | as are bloody unicorns and butterflies? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Why do lesbians and gay men need to be even more colourful? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They already rock the sequins and rhinstones. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Look at Liberace. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | He was so dammed glittery, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I bet he looked like a bloody disco ball, even from space! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, people will misunderstand the statement you want to make. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | To hell with them, I am claiming the rainbow as my new emblem! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But sir, the crowd will think it's your coming out party! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Just for trading in the swastika for the rainbow? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's not fair! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Lesbians already have their Teva sandals, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | gays have the Village People. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | So why do they also need rainbows? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | It's so damn unfair. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I finally get the courage to share a more sensitive side |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and the LGBT ruin it for me! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | A man should be able to express his emotions openly. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Being sweet does not mean I'm gay. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I want my younger following to know I have a big heart. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I want to be admired for my tenderness as much as my brawn. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The rainbow was the perfect idea. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | How does it go? ''Double rainbow all the way 'cross the sky... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Yeah, Yeeeeaaaaah, so intense.'' |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | That was going to be my theme song. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'm losing my touch with the younger generation. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | To them, I'm just an old fart! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok Anna, he doesn't know you're my girlfriend. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Rainbows are my favorite marshmallows in Lucky Charms; |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | they're magically delicious. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | No matter. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It's a lost cause. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe I can use a teddy bear theme, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I hear that worked wonders for Miley Cyrus. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Just don't make me twerk. |
