| 00:00 - 00:03 | CBS All Access has streamed nearly half |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | a season of Star Trek Discovery. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Reviews and results are solidifying |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The Trek fans are flooding the internet |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | with comments, ratings, and theories |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I assume that the Trekkies and critics hate it? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and that nobody wants to pay to watch this...? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Uh sir.. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Discovery..... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Star Trek Discovery is a success |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | A second season has been announced. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who thought this series would be about Section 31 get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What do you mean a second season??? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | It's not even a Post-Nemesis setting!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The Klingons have no hair and don't look like cosplayers from the 80s!!! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It's a goddamn prequel and the technology looks nothing like "The Cage" for fucksakes!! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | The lighting is dark!! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The characters aren't Pollyanna perfect!! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This isn't real Star Trek! Where are the Star Trek ideals??? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | It's about a fucking war for chrissake!!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, the episodes actually all have Classic Trek moral dilemmas and science |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | There hasn't been one pompous speech by a character yet! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, each episode has gotten progressively better |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It can't be getting better!!! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It has to fail!!! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | If Discovery succeeds we will never get a utopian TNG era series |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | with ponderous conference room scenes |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and shows about how evolved humans are morally superior! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We'll just get more of this modern dramatic interpretation of Trek! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | with believable characters dressed in non-canon uniforms! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | IT RUINS RODDENBERRY'S VISION!! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And I bet my LARPing buddies that it wouldn't get renewed!! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Michael Burnham is an unlikable mutineer |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | And a fucking mushroom drive?? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | My mother could have come up with a better concept. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fuck CBS All Access! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Why won't they play it on regular cable?? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Instead I have to pay my precious $6 to continue |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | to complain online |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and heckle the show to people who like it |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Goddamn corporate greed!! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, we live in Europe and can watch on Netflix. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | A second season... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | 15 more episodes at least. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We've lost. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | This is Trek now. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I just wanted an episodic Post-Nemesis show...you know? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We could have gotten cameos by Nog and Seven of Nine |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | But now we're fucked. |
