Brit Iron Rebels & The Crank Toss
764 views4/9/2013
Sir, we have completed our reconnaissance mission. We have picked up disturbing activity. It's coming from the Kern River area. We've picked up the sound of bleating sheep and British motorcycles.. The smell of castor oil. Empty beer cans. This is disturbing but nothing we haven't dealt with before.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, we have completed our reconnaissance mission. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have picked up disturbing activity. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | It's coming from the Kern River area. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We've picked up the sound of bleating sheep and British motorcycles.. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The smell of castor oil. Empty beer cans. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This is disturbing but nothing we haven't dealt with before. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Probably just kids out having a good time. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We've found a crankshaft. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sir, we have reason to believe... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The Tossers are back. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who is not a Hipster or Mod, please leave the room... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell are they thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Do you have any idea how hard I've worked to be cool? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I've worked my ass off to buy wallet chains, $70 T-shirts, a fixed gear bike and skinny jeans! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Do you know how good it feels to have tight skinny jeans wrapped around your balls? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You don't have any balls! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And all this talk about sheep. Oh God, how these vile Tossers love their farm animals! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Camping with their sex sheep! It's disgusting! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And all these loud fucking British motorcycles! How dare they think that this Brit Iron is better than my Vespa! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, but the women love them. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That's no excuse! We have fashion magazines! Colorful bandanas! Pabst Blue Ribbon! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, they have rock & roll music... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | We have Depeche Mode & Starbucks Dammit! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Nothing is better than a skinny Latte! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Let me tell you something about tossing! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I have tossed my crank, many times! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I freakin' invented crank tossing! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Long before these Brit Iron Rebels arrived, I was the freakin' Toss-meister! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I tossed my crank more than any man alive. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | But that wasn't good enough for those bastards! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | All because I choose to throw a Vespa 2-stroke crankshaft. Thats right! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Those assholes laughed at me. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | How dare they laugh at me! The Toss-meister! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | How dare they think that size matters! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And what of this beer? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | So what if Pabst Blue Ribbon is shitty beer! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | If I want to drink this Milwuakee piss-water, so be it! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Who do they think they're dealing with? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You don't need fine ale or whiskey sours to be a man. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | All this tossing, drinking and sex sheep. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | The Tossers make my panties wet... |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | These damned Brit Iron Rebels. They've ruined everything. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | With their cafe racers, their cocky attitude, their large genitalia. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Even the Fez Monkeys respect them. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The damned rockers! |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | What kind of stupid motorcycle club calls themselves the Fez Monkeys? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I want you all to go out and buy me a latte and some KY. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | It looks like it's going to be a long weekend... |