Sheriff Tony Reacts to the Deerfield Beach Breakup
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5/30/2026Broward Sheriff Gregory Tony refuses to accept that the City of Deerfield Beach is leaving BSO to start its own police department. In this satirical take, the agency's public pressure campaign and warnings of "degraded service" are reimagined as a desperate, clingy ex who won't take no for an answer, $71 million gym and all.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Deerfield Commission met today. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Hofstein pitched it perfectly. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Showed 'em your hot workouts vids. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They still voted to leave. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | They want their own cops. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | But the beach combat run? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | No boners? Is romance dead? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | hey called it deeply weird. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | My LinkedIn is already updated. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Drafting the denial release. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They just want some space. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone without a 1.92 GPA... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Leave the room right now! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Built a $71M gym! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Forty million over budget! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | My name's on the urinal cakes. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | We crashed their Commission dates! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I warned them! Pure love! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ereading Drosky's old texts... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | "Stop billing us." Classic flirting! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Threats aren't a love language. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Said they'd fall apart! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | They "liked" Coral Springs' post. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Coral Springs?! A cheap rebound! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Their overhead is too cheap! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We charged premium admin fees! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | It meant we cared more! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | The startup department sabotaged us! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Back by hurricane season. Watch. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Wait until degraded service hits. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | We were the perfect partner! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Why won't they just submit?! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I mean, accept our love! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I can change! Cheaper rates?! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | No. That is crazy talk. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | They are intimidated by me. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I mean, they love me. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'm a law enforcement catch! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | They just fear true commitment. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | They'll beg for us back. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I'll text the Mayor again. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | At least we have Weston. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | But Deerfield was my favorite. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We ran on their beach. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | They didn't even wave back. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Cancel the boombox, Captain. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Un-monogram the shower curtains. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Delete their number, I guess. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Let them see it. |