Ethics Office Declares War on Coffee
20 views2/23/2026
A multi-billion dollar organisation confronts its greatest threat: flat whites and ramen.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | We traced the transactions. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Königswald Kaffee and Udon Ramenhaus |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Here and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Small, recurring purchases occured twice a week. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And up to twice a week at Gartensalate |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This is fine, Feldmann will sort it. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Feldmann understands governance |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Niklas Mundt... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Feldmann |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Feldmann authorised team coffee |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | All on the company credit card |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who authorised a $5 flat white.. Leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | NO ONE BUYS ME A COFFEE! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | NOT ONE. NOT A SINGLE FLAT WHITE. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | BUT THEY BUY EACH OTHER COFFEE?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | TWICE A WEEK?!` |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | ON THE COMPANY CREDIT CARD?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | THIS IS HOW EMPIRES COLLAPSE. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | WE ARE A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR FIRM. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | AND WE ARE UNDER ATTACK FROM FLAT WHITES. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | "Nobody buys me a coffee either" |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | OF COURSE THEY DON'T. THIS IS A FACTION |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Führer… It appears to be selective. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | A CUPPUCCINO CARTEL |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | THIS IS HOW ORGANISATIONS FALL. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | NOT THROUGH FRAUD. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | THROUGH FLAT WHITES. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | WE TURN OVER BILLIONS. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | AND WE ARE BROUGHT TO OUR KNEES... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | BY A $5 STRONG FLAT WHITE? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | WE HAD A MACHINE. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | IT PRODUCED BROWN LIQUID. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Maybe... maybe I was too lenient. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I trusted them. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I believed in team morale. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | IT BEGINS WITH COFFEE. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | IT ENDS WITH COLLAPSE |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | THIS IS NOT ABOUT CAFFEINE. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | THIS IS ABOUT CONTROL |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. It's instant from now on. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | It's over. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | They chose coffee. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Over policy. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Over discipline. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Perhaps I was naive. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I believed in instant. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | From now on... two-minute noodles. |