| 00:00 - 00:03 | Jamie we have bad news |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | A plane left Ames |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Headed to State College |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We fear Matt Campbell is aboard |
| 00:12 - 00:17 | They offered him double our salary |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | but we broke ground on CyTown |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | There are affordable condos |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr. Pollard |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We fear... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You've pissed him off too much |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | DanPom is reporting it now. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | DanPom is a troll. He always does this. It can't be real. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I am a CPA! I do the numbers! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I am NOT selling beer! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | It will NEVER happen. The risk is too high! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | He said "Trust the Process!" CycloneLarry said "Hold the Line!" |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | (We'll still get that applebees.) |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | He said LOYAL! Forever! TRUE! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Pennsylvania isn't near the Omaha Zoo! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I just fired the Amish Bench guy! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir we fear Ames is just not attractive. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | We sold pizzas! And FOUR Backpocket beers! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, cheese pizzas won't buy receivers |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Have you had them? They're Lotzza Motzza! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | THEY COOK IN MINUTES |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And where the FUCK is Harry Stein? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We need some of that seed money! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Connor Ferguson said IT deleted his EMAIL! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How can I fucking get ahold of him? It bounces back now! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We are playing on the road! At BOWLING GREEN! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Where the FUCK is that? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Offer him a car. Something practical. A Saturn. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | But make it high mileage. We're on a budget. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | No oil changes. I'm not a chump. I'm in charge. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | We gave him everything... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Except control of his NIL. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Or a competitive salary. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Or a conference with more than one playoff bid. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And he's leaving us? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | With those benefits? Even with TIAA-Creff? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He could even choose IPERS! If I let him. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | (He can't choose for him.) |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | It appears DanPom is now sentient. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And we must move forward. |
| 03:25 - 03:29 | Call a 6-6 coach from a school with no conference affiliation. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It'll be cheap. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I spent the rest of our money on a billboard. It's on the interstate. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Our checking account is negative. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Let me be. I have a KXNO radio spot in 20 minutes. |
