| 00:00 - 00:05 | Did I tell you about Carl? Carl, he's the chocolate milk throwing kid. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | So Carl comes to school drunk. |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | And says that someone stole his water bottle |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | when he wasn't looking |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | and must have put vodka in it. |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Vodka! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | And he didn't do it! |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | and his defense is that he doesn't have vodka at home |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Vodka! |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | so we call his mom and she says the same thing |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | "We don't have vodka at the house!" |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | So I say ma'am, it doesn't matter where the vodka came from |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | he's still getting drunk at school |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | drunk at school |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | and it's not even good vodka! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | it's the cheapest gordons he could find! |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | and then he goes to lunch |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | a lunch he's not even supposed to be at |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | and he gets a chocolate milk |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | and throws the milk at the ceiling |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | so it's raining chocolate milk |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | and kids are going home after being splashed! |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | So he hides in the bathroom after that lunch |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | and goes to lunch number two |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | But he can't find chocolate milk |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | so he bounces from table to table |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | like a chocolate milk scavenger |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | and sits down after finding one |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | and throws it across the cafeteria |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | now we have splash #2 |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | A second chocolate milk! |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | and then goes back to the bathroom |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | just to come out for a third lunch |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | and throw another bottle of chocolate milk! |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | this kid is a menace with the milk! |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | all while drunk |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | on vodka that isn't his! |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | because someone else put it in his water bottle! |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | When he wasn't looking, of course |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | this kid now has at least 30 days in DAEP |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | and will he get more days? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | as many as we can give for chocolate milk crimes |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | I mean, this milk bandit is a menace |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | I mean, who throws chocolate milk? |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | and he still maintains his vodka innocence |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Vodka that someone else put in his bottle |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | because they keep everything but vodka at his house! |
