| 00:00 - 00:03 | Now for your appearance at the UN |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The General Assembly building |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | has several entrances; |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | There's first avenue, forty-second, and forty-eighth streets |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and there are elevators at each of these. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Well I figure I'll probably just... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | take the escalator. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The escalator... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The escalators will not be operational |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | because the UN is out of money. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone with escalaphobia may leave now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That's what I prefer! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The escalator, I prefer! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | With elevators, you can't make a grand entrance! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | No one can even see you. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And forget about the stairs! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Eva says the stairs are good for your health |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | but how healthy will I be when I miss a step |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and tumble backwards, breaking my neck?? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, studies have shown that using the stairs-- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That's the same bullshit I get from Bobby! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, he's right about that! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | So you think he's gonna make us Healthy Again? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's BULLSHIT! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Let's not kid ourselves. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The ONE reason I appointed him to HHS |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | was that I needed his moronic supporters! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And now I'm stuck listening to his lectures |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | about the vaccines, and the tylenol, and the mitochondria |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | it's enough to make me want a double shot |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | of Red Dye Number Two, with a Seed Oil chaser |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I have always eaten healthy. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | When I go to McDonalds, I choose the healthy options! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Even if that means a McSalad. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | *almost* always. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The *one* time I go and treat myself, he barges in on me |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and sees me eating a Spicy McCrispy, and starts lecturing me |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and then he starts in about the stairs |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | "Great for your glutes, you should use the stairs!" |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Well there's more to life than glutes! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Anna, your glutes are fine. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I remember the old days |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | there were... ashtrays and liqour cabinets |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | in each house. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The drinks flowed freely. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I used to put two teaspoons of sugar on my *already* sugary breakfast cereal! |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and my parents wouldn't bat an eye! |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get me a diet coke. |
