| 00:00 - 00:03 | We have been tracking the Oxford Half |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Turnout was as high as ever |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Runners set off as usual on Broad Street |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The route gives good views of the River Cherwell and University colleges |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And finishes up on Parks Road |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yeah cut the crap mate how did Elrica Degirmen do? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | She better have got under 2h |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Wanker |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Elrica |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Elrica didn't get under 2h |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | She finished at 2:32:30 |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who betted on Elrica to do less than 1h 30, please bugger off |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | SOMEONE GET STRAVA CUSTOMER SUPPORT ON THE PHONE |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | THIS CANT BE RIGHT |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | SHE DID SO MUCH TRAINING |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | SHE PREPARED FOR MONTHS |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | AND ALL FOR SOME FUCKING SHITTY APP TO FALSIFY HER TIME! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | LITERALLY THE BOEING OF FITNESS APPS |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Wanker Strava has never been shown to be inaccurate! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | ITS OBVIOUSLY WRONG! HOW COULD SHE NOT BEAT HER PB |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Wanker, these things happen |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I disbelieve this so much I'm gonna acquaint this pen with the desk! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's outrageous! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Not only would that suggest she didn't beat last years time |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | which was of course her first HM |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | it would suggest her pace crashed faster than a Boeing plane! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I've followed her running career all this time! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | If this is to be true I'm gonna have to unfollow her on Strava |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | What a let down after such a great year |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | At this rate she won't even make it to Manchester Marathon! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | She ran so slowly... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | by the time she finished... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | it was already Oxford Half 2025! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I'm gutted |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Not for her but all the spectators who had to witness it! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | She had people queing to watch her pass that finish line! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I hope no one captured it on camera! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I couldn't even bear to watch it unfold! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | File it in the same folder as the Huw Edwards tapes! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry hun, she'll be back to Hyrox soon |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I had such high hopes for her career |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Even bought my own Serpies merch |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | gonna have to burn it now |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | She has failed us all |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But if you think I'm gonna sit her while she goes back to her sodding spin classes |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'd rather garnish quinoa with battery acid |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Just piss off all of you |
