| 00:00 - 00:03 | The latest poll is just in. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We will lose over 200 seats. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Starmer is marching on Westminster. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The dam has burst. There is nothing to be done. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Professor Curtice says we are in the toilet. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We have the ITV debate to come. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We will be fine. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer . . . |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Farage . . . |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Farage is standing in Clacton-on-Sea. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Tice has stepped aside as leader. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Schapps, Cleverly, Dowden, stay behind. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I travelled the country . . . |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | in that fucking Brexit bus . . . |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | with its NHS lies and that insufferable man with his mustard trousers and his steins of beer. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | He is married to a fucking German, for Christ's sake! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I AM THE GERMAN. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | He is not the Fuhrer, I am the fucking Fuhrer. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Get him on a rust-bucket to Rwanda. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Who the hell is our canditate in Clacton? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, it is the actor Watling, the vicar in Bread |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That Bread fuckwit! Farage will burn him like toast. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But mein Fuhrer, he was also in 'Allo 'Allo! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't give me that French cafe shit! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Stabbed in the back! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I listened to all his shit . . . |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | About the cods and herrings and the other British fishes |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And the cheese and the borders. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And Boris fucking Johnson and his cake and his parties . . |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And Liz fucking Truss and her lettuces and that dingbat Chancellor . . . |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Kamikaze Kwarteng whatever his name is. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I've had it with the lot of them. With the lot of you. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Farage will have a big umbrella. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | An umbrella, that is all I fucking asked, Dowden. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And then Steve Bray with his speakers. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Things can only get better. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | He had umbrellas for his fucking speakers. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Standing there in the rain like a drowned rat. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Tell Mordant to stop fiddling . . . |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | with that fucking coronation sword and get herself down to Clacton . . . |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | with a banana fucking smoothie. Throw it in his face! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok. We have bananas. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I saved this country. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Eat Out to Help Out! They called me Dishy Rishy! |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It is over. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I think I can do better |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | He came third. Third on I'm a Celebrity. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I will eat the testicles. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Call for my helicopter. |
