| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, we have an update on Trump's trial. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Pecker inserted himself |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | into the proceedings. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Trump is lying, saying he can't testify |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | because of the gag order. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | That's a good stategy. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It will trick his base. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My leader |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | He's farting. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | And Cohen's tweet was admitted into evidence |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | calling him "Donald Von ShitsInPants" |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody who told me to back DerSantis instead of Trump leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | My god, Von ShitzInPants! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The orange fuckwad is finished! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We told him no more Big Macs and Diet Cokes! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And double bag the Depends. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Stop visualizing. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Trump can't do anything right! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | All he had to do was stay awake, not fart |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and have his protesters show up! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir the hillbillies cannot afford New York tolls. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Then bus the cousin-fuckers in from the South. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir the inbreds are attacking protesters. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Then lure the incels out of their basements. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Tell Bannon and Jones |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Get the word out, all channels. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Jesse Watters and Sean Hannity |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | What the fuck do Putin and I pay them for!? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | All our Republican plants are screwing up. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Krusti Noem is bragging about shooting goats, dogs and horses! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You can't shoot the pooch! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | She got herpes from Lewandowski and she's a STUPID TWAT! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It should be easy for Trump. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Just caffeinate and stay awake in the courtroom. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Snort adderall every break. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And whatever you do |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | don't cropdust the judge and the jury! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Or for fucksakes make it silent but deadly so nobody can trace it. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Merchan wouldn't take our bribes. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | He'll stick it right in Trump's backside. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He's not like that dingbat Cannon. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | She's the white Clarence Thomas. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Trump needs to change lawyers again. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Back to Giuliani. He's available. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And sober. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Or maybe Christina Bobb. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | At least Melania and his kids are there to support him. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | The jury will see he's a family man. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Loyal til the end. |
