Bryan Loses Again

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19 views12/18/2023
Bryan once again loses in the fantasy football playoffs, but what will come from it?

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00:00 - 00:03Sir, Fast Car and Waste Management are vulnerable with injuries.
00:04 - 00:07We can still try to collude and make sure Ryan doesn't win, but we have to act now.
00:08 - 00:12Kevin choked and gave him confidence, but we believe he can still be beat and avoid total chaos.
00:12 - 00:13We just got to give Colin or Tyler
00:13 - 00:15AJ Brown or Jalen Hurts to do it.
00:17 - 00:18No need for that. I can still beat him.
00:19 - 00:21Just make sure my parade has enough Busch Lattes and BBWs.
00:23 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28You...
00:31 - 00:33You have already been defeated.
00:34 - 00:36The game was yesterday. There is no parade.
00:53 - 00:58Those of you that have won a championship before, leave us losers.
01:13 - 01:15THIS WAS MY FUCKING YEAR!
01:15 - 01:17THE MFER HAD JAKE BROWNING AS HIS STARTING QB!
01:18 - 01:23YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I HAVE LOST TO A GUY WITH A SUCCULENT BUISNESS??
01:25 - 01:28I ALREADY RENTED OUT HOOTERS FOR THE TROPHY CEREMONY.
01:29 - 01:31HOW DID HE EVEN GET TO THE 2ND ROUND?
01:31 - 01:34I READ ALL THE MAGAZINES, WATCHED ALL THE CONTENT!
01:34 - 01:37I EVEN TRADED MY BEST WR FOR MORE BENCH DEPTH!
01:37 - 01:40MY LINEUP WAS PERFECT, I HAD ALL THE NUMBERS!
01:40 - 01:42Sir you'll still have a top 4 pick next year.
01:42 - 01:46I DIDN'T ASK YOU A GOD DAMN THING TAYLOR! YOU AND NATE DISGUST ME!
01:46 - 01:48Sir, you can still get a workhorse RB1 is all I'm saying.
01:48 - 01:52IF COLIN WINS WE'RE ALL GETTING SCAT PORN FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR!
01:53 - 01:55IT IS BULLSHIT!
01:56 - 01:58I WAS THE CHOSEN ONE, I DID THE BEST MOVES, I MADE THE BEST TRADES!
01:58 - 02:00I HAD SO MANY FUN THINGS PLANNED FOR YOU ALL!
02:00 - 02:03A 12 MONTH CALENDAR OF ME AND THE TROPHY I ALREADY PAID FOR!
02:04 - 02:08I HAD ALL THE OUTFITS PICKED OUT, ALL THE LIGHTING AND ANGLES PLANNED
02:08 - 02:13IT WAS GOING TO BE SEXY, BUT TASTEFUL. RAW, BUT REAL.
02:14 - 02:16IT WAS GOING TO BE ART.
02:17 - 02:21HE SHOULD'VE NEVER GOTTEN OUT OF THE FIRST ROUND AND NOW WE'RE ALL FUCKED! FUCK YOU KEVIN!!!
02:27 - 02:29I mean, what more can I do?
02:30 - 02:34I traded for a RB who shot himself, but he was tough! He had that dawg in him!!
02:34 - 02:36I didn't need RB1 numbers, but holy fuck.
02:41 - 02:42I'm so tired.
02:43 - 02:47I'M SO TIRED OF HAVING NIGHTMARES OF THAT MUSTACHE FUCK IN VEGAS OVERTHROWING DAVANTE BY 20 FEET!!
02:48 - 02:53AND RUSS WILSON TRYING TO COOK AND SLIDING FOR NEGATIVE YARDS INSTEAD OF DUMPING IT OFF TO JAVANTE!
02:54 - 02:56If I could go back in time
02:56 - 02:59I would hang myself before even thinking of trading for Josh Jacobs!
03:00 - 03:02AT LEAST TYLER GOT TYREEK FOR HIM! ALL I GOT WAS MISERY!
03:04 - 03:07It's okay, Tim. Go lube up, he's going to need your peach tonight.
03:14 - 03:16Maybe it'll be okay.
03:19 - 03:25Maybe this is just a speedbump. Phoenix rising out of the ashes sort of thing.
03:25 - 03:26Or maybe not.
03:31 - 03:33Maybe life isn't about fantasy football.
03:40 - 03:42I just really wanted to finally win one, you know?
03:42 - 03:49Finally get my name on the trophy. Prove my parents I'm not a failure.
03:53 - 03:56Maybe I'll just kill myself instead.