| 00:00 - 00:05 | I received a call from the Man City Director |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Do you want to manage City? |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | I packed my bags and flew straight over |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | As soon as I landed I went to the City training facility |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | A week earlier I had been looking around Carrington |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Shithole! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Like the 1980’s |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | There were cows roaming on the pitches |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Caravans…. |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | Caravans in the car park, and to top it off a bunch of Gypsies as the security guards |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | I said to my driver… |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | Turn this car around and get me out of here |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | I laughed so much |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | And the Glaziers |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | They were meant to sell |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | But 7 years later |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | They’re still there |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | Green and gold scarfs |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | The stadium is falling apart |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | And to top it off, they are in the bottom half |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | It’s utter chaos |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | They have spent so much |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | And they call me the “bald fraud” |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | At least I know how to win football games |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | We’ve already won 1 trophy |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | The European Super cup |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | And it’s September |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | It’s just so obvious |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | Even “The Special one” Mourinho knew it |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | He fucked off |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | They even |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | Brought back Ronaldo |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Then he fucked off |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | And went to play in a Desert |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Playing with camels, then again that’s an improvement |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | It gets better |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | We signed Haaland |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | 3 years earlier Ole tried |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | The United board said “no” |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | Then this summer they signed “Poundland Haaland” |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | How has he done? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | He’s done nothing! |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | Who knows he may score this side of Christmas |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | But probably not |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Who gives a shit anyway |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Next they will wheel Fergie back in a wheelchair |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | And wouldn’t that be just perfect to finish everything off |
