Applying for PHD before starting masters
31 views11/15/2022
This is what it feels like to apply for your PHD during the first semester of masters
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | We have a lot of deadlines coming up |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Carlos told us about this PHD in Berlin |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | It supports most of the tuition |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | though we would have to forage for food |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and proabably squat in a bunker near campus |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | thats okay |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | this seems very generous |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Bro |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | "The successful candidate will known eleven ancient languages" |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | you only know five |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those fine with no pay, no home, and no free-time, remain in the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck is this |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | What have we been doing for five years? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Here we slave away ten hours every day |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and we can't even afford instant noodles |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Last week I woke up next to two racoons |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | one of them ate my latin coursework |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I should have asked it to tach me its language |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Maybe I would be able to get a fucking job |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But in 20-30 years you might be able to get a permanent... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I will be retired by then you fucking idiot |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But the persuit of knowledge is noble! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You don't even read for the friday seminars you baboon |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I know you plagiate! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Now, I might just recycle the same textssame |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | for every single essay I write |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But I just want a god damn job |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How long will we float in this unforgiving professional limbo |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | If I have to write one more proposal that I have no idea if is actually doable |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I just want to go home and watch netflix |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | A job at McDonalds is looking more attractive by the day. They actually get paid! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | When I was a blue eyed undergrad |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I wanted to be like Indiana Jones, with a cool ass hat |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Excavating all over Europe |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Bullshit |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | All of these different latin sub-clauses are frying my brain |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I just wanted go on Mediterranean vacations without having to do actual work |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You even need to pay to apply |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Get this, you need to pay in order to work for free |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | They should just have a giant free for all fistfight |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It okay, you took economy |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess I might become a highschool teacher |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I would at least get to teach classics one week per semester |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Thats okay |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I could get an apartment |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I could start paying down my loans next year, and spend as much as I want on beer and videogames |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Maybe get some peace on the weekends |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | If I get through the masters |