00:00 - 00:03 | We've booked you in to Komedy Kampus, |
00:04 - 00:05 | Laughter Bomb, |
00:05 - 00:07 | Berlin LOLs, |
00:08 - 00:12 | a middle spot at Let's Not Be Nazi About This, |
00:12 - 00:15 | and they'll take a tight five at the Gong on Goebbelsstrasse |
00:17 - 00:19 | And the headline spot? |
00:19 - 00:21 | The one I wanted at ROFL Waffle? |
00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner won't have you on at ROFL Waffle. |
00:34 - 00:36 | Steiner has cancelled you. |
00:53 - 00:58 | These people stay in the room. Keiter, Jorge, Krepps, and Poltaff. |
01:13 - 01:15 | That headline spot was mine! |
01:15 - 01:17 | I had worked on the material for months! |
01:18 - 01:23 | How dare Steiner cancel me, how dare he! |
01:25 - 01:28 | The last time I was there I did the rape joke. |
01:29 - 01:31 | I haven't killed that hard since Auschwitz. |
01:31 - 01:34 | I wore the red glasses! |
01:34 - 01:37 | I used my new stage name, Jew Hack. |
01:37 - 01:40 | I was so good I ran over by 3 minutes. |
01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, he said you offended the audience |
01:42 - 01:46 | Offended? The world is offended! |
01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, it was the joke about the child |
01:48 - 01:52 | Do you think I care about the child? |
01:53 - 01:54 | That joke was gold! |
01:56 - 01:57 | And guess what? It's 1945! |
01:57 - 02:00 | Someone's ALWAYS offended! |
02:00 - 02:03 | But that joke was funny. I put it on Twitter. |
02:04 - 02:08 | It got seven likes, and one of those was from an influencer. |
02:08 - 02:13 | Someone retweeted it, and someone else retweeted the retweet. |
02:14 - 02:16 | Jesus fucking Christ, is nothing sacred? |
02:17 - 02:21 | Here! Listen to it! Tell me if this is offensive. |
02:27 - 02:29 | There's a baby. It's a deformed baby. |
02:30 - 02:34 | You know, one of the ugly ones. Deformed, and ugly. |
02:34 - 02:36 | It looks like a tiny gorilla. |
02:41 - 02:42 | A tiny, ugly, hairy gorilla. |
02:43 - 02:47 | Definitely not Aryan. It's hair is dark. Like a gorilla's. |
02:48 - 02:53 | And this gorilla baby falls down a well and drowns. |
02:54 - 02:56 | Just drowns, slowly and alone. |
02:56 - 02:59 | And the mother looks down the well. |
03:00 - 03:02 | And she sees her dead baby floating there. |
03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK Anna. It's just a joke. |
03:14 - 03:16 | And the baby is just floating there. |
03:19 - 03:23 | Like a little, dead, soggy gorilla. |
03:25 - 03:26 | And the mother looks up |
03:31 - 03:33 | "What a mistake," she says. |
03:40 - 03:46 | "I can never forgive myself." |
03:46 - 03:49 | "I should have called him Bob." |
03:53 - 03:56 | See? No offence. |