| 00:00 - 00:03 | Thank you for coming in this morning, Chief |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have received word from the top |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and I'm affraid I have some bad news |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | It would appear the "reply all" email you sent |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | has really struck a nerve with the troops |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I don't understand... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | everyone hates those fucking emails... |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well, Daniel.... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Um... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You are suddenly "over hours" on your vacation bank |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...see you in two weeks... |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If I've ever tried to fire you, leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | what in the actual fuck??! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I was the first one to reply! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I simply said what everyone already thought |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | what a waste of my fucking time for a retiring SGT |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Thats so far beneath me |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | SGTS dont know jack shit compared to me |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Do you know how many SGTs I've tried to fire? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Ive lost track at this point |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, you came across as a prick |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I AM A PRICK, DOUG!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | but Chief, morale is even worse now |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | GOOD, fuck everyone without stars on their collar... |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I may have shown my ass |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | to the entire fucking department... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | but I only confirrmed what everyone already knew.. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Im an uncaring human being thats forgotten where he came from |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I broke in at East LA and they teased me so fucking much |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | that Ive held a grudge since day one |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Everything those 12-granders said to me was right... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Why would I congratulate a man for 30 years of service?? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | When those guys replied all, to my reply all |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I felt myself getting fully erect at the idea |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | that I destroyed their spirits |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Yes, we are the finest in the world... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | but thats because of men like me, with stars.. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | NOT whiney ass road dogs out there every day |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | putting their life on the line in wool pants.. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | because guys like me say tradition comes first!! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I wear wool pants in my air conditioned office! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its OK, he cant fire your hubby, he's a Deputy |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | What the fuck am I going to do for 2 weeks? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I know what.. Im sending emails to the entire department |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | announcing the acquisition... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | of my 3rd star... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'll have that corner office in Sacramento in no time |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Its not like the Commisioner will say anything about this |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | SILENCE AS USUAL |
