Hitler Reacts to Phish Playing Arkansas

11,684 views • 1/23/2020

Description

Hitler loses his shit when he finds out he's not getting them good dates.

Captions

00:00 - 00:03The new tour dates have dropped
00:04 - 00:05After Oregon, they go to the Gorge
00:05 - 00:07Then they hit California
00:08 - 00:12Before heading to Arkansas to play
00:12 - 00:15...at the WalMart AMP
00:17 - 00:19What about Kansas City?
00:19 - 00:21Chicago? St Louis?
00:24 - 00:26My dude...
00:27 - 00:28Not this tour
00:31 - 00:33The next stop is in Alabama...
00:34 - 00:36Then on to Georgia
00:53 - 00:58If you weren't at Chaiffetz when Phish played Gloria, get out
01:13 - 01:15A fucking WalMart in Arkansas!?
01:15 - 01:17Are you fucking kidding me?
01:18 - 01:23Are they trying to set a record for the most Chompers at a show?
01:25 - 01:28Why would the do this to us?
01:29 - 01:31This is some fucked up MAGA shit
01:31 - 01:34Everyone in Arkansas is married to their cousin
01:34 - 01:37They don't know the difference between a heady jam
01:37 - 01:40and their goddamn pig sooie
01:40 - 01:42My dude, there are kind wooks there
01:42 - 01:46Bullshit, everyone there fucks pigs
01:46 - 01:48My dude, Phish has never played in Arkansas
01:48 - 01:52You think I care about these bumpkins?
01:53 - 01:54They don't deserve it
01:56 - 01:57These custies don't even wear fucking shoes
01:57 - 02:00And you know these assholes
02:00 - 02:03are going to call their garbage hogs during the show
02:04 - 02:08It's going to be jukebox Phish.
02:08 - 02:13They'll open with Chalkdust....A few microjams if we're lucky
02:14 - 02:16And for the encore we're all getting Zero'd
02:17 - 02:21I need some goddamn civilization on tour
02:27 - 02:29I like pour-over coffee
02:30 - 02:34I need juicy IPAs. I like my hazy brews
02:34 - 02:36I like legal weed stores
02:41 - 02:42if I wanted to see Phish
02:43 - 02:47in the mud with a bunch of savages
02:48 - 02:53I'd build a time machine back to Coventry
02:54 - 02:56And you know they'll pander to the locals
02:56 - 02:59I can already hear the Chompers wooing when Trey sings
03:00 - 03:02"My old Jerry was an Arkansas mule"
03:04 - 03:07It's ok, Timber could go deep
03:14 - 03:16We've always been there for them.
03:19 - 03:23Riverport...Starlight Amphitheater
03:25 - 03:26Sandstone.
03:31 - 03:33Alpine Valley
03:40 - 03:46I was at the Kiel Center in 1997 when John Popper
03:46 - 03:49 played Mr Mustard at the Letter M show
03:53 - 03:56Book me a room at the Embassy Suites