| 00:00 - 00:03 | We now know that it is an American consortium, |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | looking to buy an English football club. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | They were seen at the stadium on Saturday. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Reportedly, they have a combined fortune of $70billion, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and now we are just waiting for confirmation of the takeover. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Excellent. Ashley's gone, and we're minted. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We'll be signing Messi, Mbappe and Ronaldo in no time. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They're not buying the Toon. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They're buying Sunderland instead. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The Mackems are going to be spending more cash than Elton John spends on flowers. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anybody in here who shouted at Ashley's shops, leave the room now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | They're buying fucking SUNDERLAND? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Why the fuck would they buy THEM?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I bet it was that fucking Netflix programme! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | "We saw you cry." we taunted. Well, someone fucking saw |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | them, didn't they? A bunch of fucking billionaires! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We could fall into a barrel of tits and come out |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | sucking our fucking thumbs, the bastard luck we have! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They win the lottery, and we're still stuck with that fat Cockney wanker! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | This takeover could spur Ashley into spending... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | STOP TALKING SHIT! HE JUST USES US FOR FREE ADVERTISING! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, he spent £30 million on Joelinton... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | And put him in a team managed by Steve fucking Bruce. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | A man who looks like Mrs Doubtfire after hormone therapy. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We were all getting excited just a few weeks ago. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Wanking ourselves off at the thought of the Arabs taking over. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But why the fuck did we think that would come off? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | The Arabs love RACING horses, not fucking PUNCHING them. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And those daft bastards that held a funeral for the club, |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | they just made us look like a bunch of fucking clowns! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And don't even get me started on the bedsheets! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They couldn't even spell fucking 'boycott' right. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Is it any wonder that investors avoid us like MENSA avoid Joey Essex? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | "We should be challenging for Europe." they say, |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We couldn't even challenge Anneka. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | They had two fucking relegations in a row! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | A mountain of debt! They were about to go under! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I almost pulled my cock off when they lost the playoffs. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And the thought of them having another year of playing Fleetwood |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and Accrington Stanley gave me a fucking stiffy. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. At least we still have Jack Colback. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We should've seen this coming. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | The minute Rafa fucked off to China, we should have known we were fucked. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And who are we left with? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | A prick who flogs cheap tennis racquets. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We need new blood. New ideas. A sharp mind to take us forward. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Someone who knows the club inside out and commands respect. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get me Joe Kinnear on the phone. |
