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Hitler Reacts to Takeover News
11,977 views • 8/26/2019
Hitler reacts to news of a north-east footballing takeover...
00:00 - 00:03
We now know that it is an American consortium,
00:04 - 00:05
looking to buy an English football club.
00:05 - 00:07
They were seen at the stadium on Saturday.
00:08 - 00:12
Reportedly, they have a combined fortune of $70billion,
00:12 - 00:15
and now we are just waiting for confirmation of the takeover.
00:17 - 00:19
Excellent. Ashley's gone, and we're minted.
00:19 - 00:21
We'll be signing Messi, Mbappe and Ronaldo in no time.
00:24 - 00:26
00:27 - 00:28
They're not buying the Toon.
00:31 - 00:33
They're buying Sunderland instead.
00:34 - 00:36
The Mackems are going to be spending more cash than Elton John spends on flowers.
00:53 - 00:58
Anybody in here who shouted at Ashley's shops, leave the room now.
01:13 - 01:15
They're buying fucking SUNDERLAND?
01:15 - 01:17
Why the fuck would they buy THEM?!
01:18 - 01:23
I bet it was that fucking Netflix programme!
01:25 - 01:28
"We saw you cry." we taunted. Well, someone fucking saw
01:29 - 01:31
them, didn't they? A bunch of fucking billionaires!
01:31 - 01:34
We could fall into a barrel of tits and come out
01:34 - 01:37
sucking our fucking thumbs, the bastard luck we have!
01:37 - 01:40
They win the lottery, and we're still stuck with that fat Cockney wanker!
01:40 - 01:42
This takeover could spur Ashley into spending...
01:42 - 01:46
STOP TALKING SHIT! HE JUST USES US FOR FREE ADVERTISING!
01:46 - 01:48
Mein Fuhrer, he spent £30 million on Joelinton...
01:48 - 01:52
And put him in a team managed by Steve fucking Bruce.
01:53 - 01:54
A man who looks like Mrs Doubtfire after hormone therapy.
01:56 - 01:57
We were all getting excited just a few weeks ago.
01:57 - 02:00
Wanking ourselves off at the thought of the Arabs taking over.
02:00 - 02:03
But why the fuck did we think that would come off?
02:04 - 02:08
The Arabs love RACING horses, not fucking PUNCHING them.
02:08 - 02:13
And those daft bastards that held a funeral for the club,
02:14 - 02:16
they just made us look like a bunch of fucking clowns!
02:17 - 02:21
And don't even get me started on the bedsheets!
02:27 - 02:29
They couldn't even spell fucking 'boycott' right.
02:30 - 02:34
Is it any wonder that investors avoid us like MENSA avoid Joey Essex?
02:34 - 02:36
"We should be challenging for Europe." they say,
02:41 - 02:42
We couldn't even challenge Anneka.
02:43 - 02:47
They had two fucking relegations in a row!
02:48 - 02:53
A mountain of debt! They were about to go under!
02:54 - 02:56
I almost pulled my cock off when they lost the playoffs.
02:56 - 02:59
And the thought of them having another year of playing Fleetwood
03:00 - 03:02
and Accrington Stanley gave me a fucking stiffy.
03:04 - 03:07
Don't worry. At least we still have Jack Colback.
03:14 - 03:16
We should've seen this coming.
03:19 - 03:23
The minute Rafa fucked off to China, we should have known we were fucked.
03:25 - 03:26
And who are we left with?
03:31 - 03:33
A prick who flogs cheap tennis racquets.
03:40 - 03:46
We need new blood. New ideas. A sharp mind to take us forward.
03:46 - 03:49
Someone who knows the club inside out and commands respect.
03:53 - 03:56
Get me Joe Kinnear on the phone.
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