| 00:00 - 00:03 | With less than a week left |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | we have every delivery service |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | ready and waiting, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | with an army of temporary workers |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | paid less than minimum wage. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So we are preparing |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | to double our profits again this year... |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr. Bezos... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | there's a boycott. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | People are angry that we didn't pay taxes |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | in 2018 on $11.2 billion in profits. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All of you who own a Google Home may leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | First it was New York City, |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | the fucking people of New York City, |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | who would not let me build my glorious second HQ. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Now average Americans are boycotting Prime Day? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What have I done to deserve this? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I've squeezed all the blood out of my workers |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | and ruined the lives of small business owners |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | just to double our earnings last year. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Because of President Trump's tax reform... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Trump knows better than anyone about tax loopholes. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr. Bezos, Americans pay more than ever. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't give a rat's ass about Americans! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I am not made of money. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | What about the lobbyists in DC |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and the members of Congress; |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Do you think it's cheap to buy-off politicians? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And Trump should know better than anyone |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | that I may lose half of my goddamned fortune |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | in a settlement with MacKenzie. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And now Epstein's in jail: Don't get me started! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Think of all the research money spent |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | on high-tech delivery drones just so some redneck |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | can get beers while he is fishing. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The Far Right |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | are not keeping up their end of the bargain |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | to keep the makers of Tiki Torches and black armbands in business |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | not to mention all the patriotic stuff |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | that Trump has made in China, like those atrocious |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | red hats that say Make America Great Again! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | You can still wear your Chinese-made Trump clothes. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Sure, we got $129 million in |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Federal tax rebates for 2018, but the result |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | could mean layoffs |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | after a successful Amazon Prime Day boycott. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Whatever you do, don't mention the boycott on Twitter |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | or share it on other social networks. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | The last thing we need is this to go viral. |
