| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, Motel 6 on 17th Street is sold out |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Lucky Lady on 3rd Ave. is booked. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The Royal Manor burned down two weeks ago |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And the Roman Inn on 5th St. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Will not take you again after what happened last time. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Call that hotel on Euclid Ave. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The one with the hot tub |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | There's a problem |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Nero's Palace won't take you either. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | After the other guests complained last time |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those responsible for finding me a room need to stay |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is not acceptable |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I've already made plans with 3 different men |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Max -- a hunky bodybuilder from Russia |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Xander -- a black stud from Detroit. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And fem Carlos from Mexico. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Now I have to tell them I can't make it. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I just bought a new leather outfit with chaps |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Plus a ball gag and whips |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, the Fireside Inn has rooms |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | There's no hot tub there, plus the beds are all doubles |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, there's a 3 hour place off of Jones |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | A three hour hotel? Hell no! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Max and I require at least 6 hours |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And Xander won't meet me at a dump |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Fem Carlos must have a hot tub and a mini bar |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | These men are high maintenance, they expect a lot from Adolf |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They expect a decent room |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And a queen or king bed for us |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Stalin gets the hottest guys on Grindr |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Because his people get him decent hotel rooms |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Not these shit places you get. |
