00:00 - 00:03 | Mr. Martin your friends are requesting a guys trip. |
00:04 - 00:05 | You will board a plane to leave the Northwest |
00:05 - 00:07 | and arrive in Las Vegas. |
00:08 - 00:12 | Once arriving in Vegas you will lay by a pool and drink cocktails |
00:12 - 00:15 | After that, you will take some E-bombs and get weird. |
00:17 - 00:19 | And my wife and daughters, |
00:19 - 00:21 | When will we hang out with them |
00:24 - 00:26 | Um |
00:27 - 00:28 | This is a guy's trip |
00:31 - 00:33 | You're not supposed to have your wife around |
00:34 - 00:36 | and you need to grow a pair for the weekend |
00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who has never been to American Girl leave now. |
01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell are they thinking? |
01:15 - 01:17 | Wanting to go somewhere and have fun without any Father of the Year photo opps? |
01:18 - 01:23 | And no Chevy's to go to? |
01:25 - 01:28 | What do they think is going to happen? |
01:29 - 01:31 | They're fucked! |
01:31 - 01:34 | Everyone knows I cannot leave the 503 area code! |
01:34 - 01:37 | And what about my ipad and Sonos?! |
01:37 - 01:40 | How will I have Hi-Fi sound in multiple rooms in Las Vegas? |
01:40 - 01:42 | But, sometimes you need a break from Washington Square Mall. |
01:42 - 01:46 | Seriously? Have you been to the Van Heusen Store? |
01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, they have an outlet mall in Las Vegas. |
01:48 - 01:52 | And FroBerry? Do they have a fucking Fro Berry? |
01:53 - 01:54 | I need a passion fruit fro-yo |
01:56 - 01:57 | around 3pm everyday |
01:57 - 02:00 | preferably with some sort of crunchy topping |
02:00 - 02:03 | but no sugar cone because I'm dieting. |
02:04 - 02:08 | Are you kidding me? |
02:08 - 02:13 | And what about Starbucks? Do they even have those there? |
02:14 - 02:16 | You know I need an iced |
02:17 - 02:21 | double-pump non-fat mocha valencia! |
02:27 - 02:29 | OK fine I will go. |
02:30 - 02:34 | But I will not go without my Tumi carry-on |
02:34 - 02:36 | and matching backpack |
02:41 - 02:42 | Call Courtney |
02:43 - 02:47 | Tell him he is not allowed to bring any of his god-damn letterman jackets |
02:48 - 02:53 | I am so sick of hearing about Churchill football |
02:54 - 02:56 | And Brian, yes call Brian. |
02:56 - 02:59 | Tell him to call Mr. Burnham and use some their Westin points |
03:00 - 03:02 | To get as a room with a fucking Sonos! |
03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, I'm scared too. |
03:14 - 03:16 | Pack my bags and make sure to include my Tommy Bahama swim trunks |
03:19 - 03:23 | I don't know why but I love drawstring swim trunks. |
03:25 - 03:26 | I just farted |
03:31 - 03:33 | Actually I shit my pants |
03:40 - 03:46 | Bring me a change of clothes, preferably with a Psycho Bunny sweater, |
03:46 - 03:49 | If that's not clean, some sort of Polo shirt will do. |
03:53 - 03:56 | Let's go to Vegas |