| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mr Archer, Retail Stock has another problem |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Several delivery dates will need to go back |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and as a result we will go over forecast |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Several dependent projects are going off track |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and it looks like we will need to go back to GAR again |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Surely we have budget to cover this |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | having used superior estimating models |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Archer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The budget..... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The budget has all been used up |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We've run out of money |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Remain in the room: Bone, Wallis, Flaxman, Burnham |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | For fucks sake |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Have you learnt nothing for fucks sake |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Despite my world class mentoring why have you let it come to this
. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Where was the planning? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Where was the estimating? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Youre completely useless, you arseholes. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | But which of you or which other fuckwit |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | is the biggest turd in the woodpile? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Archer, the dependencies were out of our control |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Nothing but excuses, failures, bollocks |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Archer, the change controls keep coming...... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | What a complete load of bollocks you twat |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's not that hard! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And are architecture taking the piss? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Ive got CRs coming out of my arse on RS5 |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and RS6 is going the same way |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | For years they've drawn their boxes and lines |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | but never been held to account for delivery |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I miss the great Jenny Hawkings |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | She took no shit and had bigger balls than Stalin |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And those cocksuckers in infrastructure |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Theyve fucked up delivery and budgeting at every turn |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Fucking useless twats |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | From the very beginning... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | SAP has been shit, we would have finished by now on the mainframe |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | A couple of complex programs and we'd be there |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But no....... it's a fucking conspiracy |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Erwin is going to have my bollocks |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But I promise yours will be next |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Dont worry Lisa ICEBOX was a success |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And after this mountain of shit |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | You stand there........ and ask to have a party |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Fuck it... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Why not
were fucked |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But don't think you're working from home tomorrow |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | you lazy work shy bellends |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Now piss off |
