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Collingwood Downfall
Eddie McGuire 'stars' as Hitler, as he rants about Collingwood's own 'Downfall''

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00:00 - 00:03We started the 2018 season with a strong quarter
00:04 - 00:05But couldn't kick enough goals and lost by 34.
00:05 - 00:07We are ok at finding the ball in the middle
00:08 - 00:12But have absolutely no idea how to kick goals
00:12 - 00:15Once the ball gets into our forward line here
00:17 - 00:19At least we recruited Mayne
00:19 - 00:21And put down De Goey's imaginary dog
00:24 - 00:26Eddie....
00:27 - 00:28Mayne......
00:31 - 00:33Mayne is being paid $500K to play VFL
00:34 - 00:36And De Goey is on the piss again
00:53 - 00:58Anyone not involved with picking Freeman instead of Cripps, please leave now
01:13 - 01:15WTF IS GOING ON?
01:15 - 01:17It's all gone downhill since we boned Malthouse
01:18 - 01:23This list is turning into SHIZER! What the **** is Bucks doing?
01:25 - 01:28Mayne playing in the VFL? Looks like a clown, PLAYS like a clown!
01:29 - 01:31De Goey on the piss again?
01:31 - 01:34Bucks promised me he had traded out all the deadshits!
01:34 - 01:37Wasn't that why we traded out Heath Shaw?
01:37 - 01:40Rat pack, my ass! At least he could BLOODY PLAY!
01:40 - 01:42Eddie, seriously. We need to get rid of Bucks
01:42 - 01:46BUCKS IS NOT THE PROBLEM! This club is SCREWED!
01:46 - 01:48But Eddie, we got rid of Gary Pert, things will get better
01:48 - 01:52You think the problem was GARY ******* PERT?
01:53 - 01:54He was just a SCAPEGOAT!
01:56 - 01:57This club is going backwards
01:57 - 02:00EVERY. *******. YEAR!
02:00 - 02:031st, 4th, 6th, 11th, 12th, 12th, ******* 13th!
02:04 - 02:08List management, my ass!
02:08 - 02:13Taylor Adams would be a good footballer IF he could kick?
02:14 - 02:16**** ME! Joe Danier would be a sex symbol....
02:17 - 02:21...IF he didn't look like Lurch from the Addams Family dressed up an 80's porn star!
02:27 - 02:29They say Jaidyn Stephenson has a heart problem
02:30 - 02:34The whole god damn team has a heart problem!
02:34 - 02:36We just need to kick some freaking goals.
02:41 - 02:42And how are we supposed to do that?
02:43 - 02:47With Mason Bloody Cox? The guy's taller than a baby giraffe AND less coordinated than one
02:48 - 02:53I never thought I'd say this, but sometimes I miss Travis Cloke
02:54 - 02:56I thought Darcy Moore would lead our forwardline
02:56 - 02:59And what do we do? Play him at CHB!
03:00 - 03:02I mean our AFLW spearhead is LITERALLY called MO' hope!
03:04 - 03:07Don't take it personally, Eddie hates ALL women
03:14 - 03:16I don't know what I'll do if we lose to Carlton this week
03:19 - 03:23I'll have to have another whinge about the academies to distract the press
03:25 - 03:27The barrackers SHOULD be shouting....obscenities
03:31 - 03:33I could always launch another useless review
03:40 - 03:46I know Bucks is as useless as a mocktail recipe book at Robbo's house
03:46 - 03:51If only he'd never found those photos of that porn star spanking me with my own Hot Seat promo cutout
03:53 - 03:58**** it, just give him another 3 years....