| 00:01 - 00:03 | NEWS FLASH |
| 00:04 - 00:08 | HITLER RETURNS AFTER GEOLEMON PARODY |
| 00:08 - 00:10 | THIS SURPRISED EVERYONE |
| 00:10 - 00:12 | THE GERMANS WERE NOT PREPARED |
| 00:12 - 00:14 | HE IMMEDIATLY BROKE INTO A SHOP AND SQUISHED ALL THE LEMONS |
| 00:14 - 00:17 | ONLY STOPPED BECAUSE HE SLIPPED ON A BANANA |
| 00:18 - 00:20 | THE ARMY WAS CALLED AND HE FLED THE SCENE |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | A SINGLE BULLET PUNCTURED HIS SKIN |
| 00:22 - 00:23 | POLICE ARE NOW ON THE CHASE |
| 00:24 - 00:25 | IN OTHER NEWS |
| 00:26 - 00:28 | A HUGE LIME LANDED NEXT TO THE LEMON |
| 00:27 - 00:30 | SCIENTIST ARE CURRENTLY STUDYING IT |
| 00:31 - 00:36 | CITIZENS OF GLENUNGA ARE ASKED TO STAY INSIDE |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | IN FEAR OF FURTHER RAINING CITRUS |
| 00:40 - 00:43 | AND MS DAVEY IS ESPECIALLY PROTECTED |
| 00:43 - 00:45 | FURTHER UPDATES AT 4 |
| 00:45 - 00:46 | PRAISE THE GEOLEMON |
| 00:48 - 00:49 | THIS IS THE REPORTER |
| 00:50 - 00:51 | SIGNING OFF |
