| 00:00 - 00:03 | We are continuing our campaign against the Puppies. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They've succeeded at using facts, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | but we believe our feels can still trump their logic. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Even better, Vox has turned his followers against the Sad Puppies, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and that lets us pretend he's the one in charge, and not the many Puppy women and minorities. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Good. We'll No Award while they self-destruct. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The Hugo Awards will remain preeminent. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Great Leader . . . |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | DragonCon . . . |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | DragonCon has just announced their own major award. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And it already looks cool. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone . . . out. Except Scalzi, Gerrold, and the Social Media Brigade. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Do you understand what's at stake!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | We've spent YEARS gaining control of the Hugos! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We need them to control public perception of quality in science fiction and fantasy! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We can't just let mere READERS decide what makes good genre fiction, |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | not when SF&F lets people dream of freedom from drudgery |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | and imagine alternate worlds where we don't control their every word and action! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And it was going fine until you idiots goaded Larry Correia |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | into starting Sad Puppies in the first place and drawing public attention -- |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Great Leader, we had no idea that a bestselling author could draw attention to our plans! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You idiot! Bestselling authors have huge fanbases! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Great Leader, you taught us that popularity and quality are mutually incompat-- |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You are so idiotic that you've begun to believe our own propaganda! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | That's precisely why they're so dangerous. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We had to convince them that real art was ugly. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | That if they don't get it, the problem is with them, not us. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Force them to believe that we are the sole arbiters of taste, understanding, and quality. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | But if we can't pretend that the Hugos are the biggest award in SF&F, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | if DragonCon can leverage its hordes to vote on whether a book or movie or TV show is good or not, |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | then the Hugo Awards will lose prestige in the field, |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and eventually we'll look just like what we already are: elitists who don't actually care about fiction! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We'll have to start over. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We've spent so long disdaining DragonCon that we don't have people in control. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Not since Ed Kramer got convicted of pedophilia. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Start a new campaign. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | DragonCon is controlled by . . . by racists and misogynists and . . . and GamerGate! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We have to discredit the Dragon Awards before they even have nominations, |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | or else people will wonder why DragonCon is so much larger than Worldcon. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Why we can't get more than a few thousand to show up, and they have SIXTY thousand without even trying, |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | who flock to a convention thinking that it's supposed to be FUN! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. Fun will never trump social justice. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If we can't discredit them, it's over. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | There's no way an Ancillary Noun novel will win at DragonCon. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We'll fade into obscurity. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | All because Scalzi over there decided to get in Correia's face. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | It would take years to infect DragonCon. They're masters of having fun wrong, and won't have a serious discussion |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | about why skin color and sexuality always trump creativity. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least we still have Twitter. |
