| 00:00 - 00:03 | After the new ministry guidelines for Emergency Department attendance |
| 00:03 - 00:06 | the DHB CEO visits the Newly configured Emergency Department |
| 00:07 - 00:09 | the CEO makes a surprise visit meeting patients and staff |
| 00:10 - 00:12 | he asks this gentleman |
| 00:12 - 00:14 | ........... "so how the hell did you get in here?" |
| 00:14 - 00:16 | "I think my face transplant is rejecting" |
| 00:16 - 00:18 | "why didn't you go to your local community pharmacist? " |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | "somebody is going to lose their job over this" ..... I'll call it a restructure.... |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | " ... and that bandaging is a pretty crass way to sneak past triage" |
| 00:23 - 00:26 | Have you got any alchohol for me to drink?" |
| 00:26 - 00:28 | "The administrator drank it all |
| 00:29 - 00:30 | ....all I have is this cold cup of tea" .... |
| 00:30 - 00:33 | "haha .. no you don't |
| 00:34 - 00:37 | ... I drank it" |
| 00:37 - 00:38 | The CEO offers to remove the bandage |
| 00:39 - 00:41 | and wrap it around |
| 00:41 - 00:44 | the other patients mouth |
| 00:44 - 00:46 | "I bet you wish you'd gone to the ACC funded A and M clinic now |
| 00:48 - 00:50 | "I waited so long on the orthopaedic waiting list I bit my fingers off" |
| 00:50 - 00:52 | surely to God your GP could have sorted you out |
| 00:53 - 00:55 | Excellent you have whiskey
you can stay for up to 6 hours |
| 00:59 - 01:04 | The staff and patients point out how stupid the only entrance is on the first floor and how it is only accessible by acrobats |
| 01:05 - 01:11 | The CEO points out the number of people he feels should be funded to be seen in ED per 24 hours |
| 01:14 - 01:19 | I have a balding problem |
| 01:24 - 01:28 | I have a balding problem too |
| 01:32 - 01:34 | I wear a hat |
| 01:35 - 01:37 | A bad time for a sneaky smoke |
| 01:39 - 01:44 | HaHaHa .. youre all about to be replaced by administrators |
| 01:46 - 01:51 | And so the decision is made to hold a workshop at the National Rural Health Conference |
| 01:52 - 01:57 | Who should attend? |
| 01:56 - 02:01 | and who should get a new hat |
