| 00:00 - 00:03 | Before we start the scoutcast Mark. There are new teams rewriting the English football map. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | So far, they have shown up here |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Things have degenerated into casual paradise. All devoted players are doing horribly. Those who follow our web site |
| 00:12 - 00:16 | are no longer necessary the best in the game. Many are panicking, sir. And we believe the reason is you. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The reason is me? How can this be? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I'm Mr. FPL. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mark |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The truth is... |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | Your team isn't going as we had hoped. It is in fact quickly approaching a rank of 3 million. |
| 00:35 - 00:38 | You failed to draft in Ramsey, Barkley and Yaya when everyone else did. |
| 00:52 - 00:58 | You three stay. Anyone else with a better rank than mine, leave now. Then start the scoutcast recording. No fucking tune this time. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | HELLO EVERYONE |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | THINK YOU'RE SO GOOD!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I know what you're all saying out there. That I'm finished. That I'm not MR. FPL anymore. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The hours I spend with this shit. I wrote the book on how to play FPL. |
| 01:28 - 01:31 | Now... all the glory is with those disgusting casuals. They have done NOTHING deserve it!!! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They don't even own a website. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They think Opta is an eye-wear manufacturer |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Forty. Forty forty forty. Then forty again! |
| 01:40 - 01:43 | Mark, it get's worse I'm afraid. We've ran your data through the Professor's amazing machine. |
| 01:43 - 01:46 | IT CANNOT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE. GRANVILLE ISN´T EVEN FUCKING MIFFED. |
| 01:46 - 01:50 | It came up with a very precise projection. If the trend continues... You will get 40 every week for the rest of the season. |
| 01:50 - 01:52 | I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | AND WHAT'S UP WITH THE BEACH SOCCER THING |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | UKRAINE HAS NOBODY. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | IT'S ALL "SOLOMON ISLANDS HERE" |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | "SOLOMON ISLANDS THERE" |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Are you kidding me? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Barkley should stay on the bench where he belongs. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | This is 2013, you don't play kids. You spend 50 000 000£ on real players!!!! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | AND JUST WHO THE ACTUAL FECK IS THIS... WAMSEY!? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I'm not miffed. NOT MIFFED. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | BUT I'M VERY VERY DISSAPPOINTED. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | You´d think at least I did well in Paradise Risk. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Then Granville goes and picks Remy. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | REMY! SCORED TWICE? HA!!! HAHA!! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | HOW COME YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ALL OF A SUDDEN. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | WHERE IS YOUR MIFFED, GRANVILLE. I LIVE FOR THOSE MOMENTS. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | THIS IS A CONSPIRACY |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | THE WHOLE THING IS A SHAM |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, this happens all the time. |
| 03:13 - 03:17 | I haven't even had any injuries. I Should be sailing. Singing. Cheerliy making fun of Granville. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Now I'm so sad. I'm like a lost little puppy... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | "...save me" |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The Professors machine |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | It's no use arguing with it. I know how complex it is. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We don't even know how it works. But it makes fax noises. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | So it must be accurate. |
