| 00:00 - 00:03 | We are continuing our search for the town of Timpdon |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have searched Germany and Belgium and know the railway town is not there |
| 00:08 - 00:10 | We have now invaded all the countries you ordered |
| 00:11 - 00:15 | But we still cant find the seaside town of Timpdon or the railways engine sheds |
| 00:17 - 00:20 | Then we will shall get extra armies and search some more countries |
| 00:23 - 00:24 | Sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Tell him |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Sir. We are all beginning to think that Timpdon isnt a real place.. |
| 00:32 - 00:34 | Many of us think that it is just a model railway layout
|
| 00:50 - 00:55 | If any of you think Timpdon is a real seaside town, then you should leave the room |
| 01:10 - 01:14 | Its a bloody model? Does it look like a Hornby train set? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | They are live steam engines! |
| 01:18 - 01:20 | I want to go and see something beautiful |
| 01:22 - 01:23 | To see something nice
|
| 01:25 - 01:27 | Theres certainly nothing pretty to look at around here! |
| 01:28 - 01:30 | Is it too much to ask invade a little seaside town |
| 01:31 - 01:33 | Oh Yes! You managed to give me countries with LGB trains |
| 01:34 - 01:35 | But nothing with real steam trains |
| 01:36 - 01:38 | But Sir - Our Intelligence said it was on the Island of Sodor |
| 01:39 - 01:40 | I dont think so, Dumkoff! |
| 01:41 - 01:42 | They must think Im stupid |
| 01:43 - 01:45 | But Sir! The SS said that Sodor has lots of nice steam trains |
| 01:46 - 01:47 | Oh they did, did they! The SS couldnt find Sodor on the map either! |
| 01:48 - 01:50 | They are all morons |
| 01:51 - 01:52 | Do engines at Timpdon have faces? |
| 01:53 - 01:55 | Do the engines talk to each other and sing little happy songs all day? |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | Everyone knows its only standard gauge engines that do that |
| 01:59 - 02:02 | Timpdon is a lot more interesting with its swinging bridge and barbeques. And then theres that man.. |
| 02:03 - 02:05 | who has taken off his trunks in the water |
| 02:06 - 02:08 | We could all go and see that on holiday |
| 02:09 - 02:11 | They are even advertising the Open Day |
| 02:12 - 02:16 | They have a website. But you lot couldnt find your bum with both hands! |
| 02:21 - 02:23 | The Timpdon team are laughing in my face |
| 02:24 - 02:27 | Taunting me, sending me pictures of their railway |
| 02:28 - 02:31 | With kiddies getting water squirted in their face |
| 02:34 - 02:41 | Theres a war on. Im trying to take over the world and they run a jazz train playing happy tunes |
| 02:42 - 02:46 | Then they put a postcard on YouTube of a big fat girl sat on the beach waving at trains |
| 02:47 - 02:48 | Eating pork pies, |
| 02:49 - 02:52 | With her massive boobies hanging out of her swimming costume |
| 02:53 - 02:57 | She looks like that girl Olga from Admin |
| 02:58 - 03:00 | Dont cry - youre boobies arent that big |
| 03:06 - 03:09 | I dont ask for too much |
| 03:11 - 03:15 | I wanted the world with Timpdon in it |
| 03:17 - 03:18 | Damn it |
| 03:23 - 03:25 | But it still cant be found |
| 03:31 - 03:32 | Im supposed to have the best senior officers |
| 03:33 - 03:39 | but they think its just a toy train. How can it be a toy with real steam? |
| 03:44 - 03:46 | Damn those Timpdon people |
